Friday marked the three-month anniversary of my mother’s death. Certainly not a day goes by that I don’t think of her, but I am beginning to move through a transition phase.
Everyone’s grief process is unique and whether it takes a month or a year or 10 years, there is no reason to delay or rush the process. Nowadays, so many people want to be able to read a book or even just a Facebook post that offers them 10 steps to grieving and getting on with their lives.
But like with the rest of life, grief is not easy.
With each marker of time, such as a birthday or holiday, the reminder of a loved one’s passing hits home once again. With each such event, the loss becomes more permanent.
I made decent strides while I was in New Mexico clearing out my parents’ belongings from the condo and beginning to add some of my own touches. This will be a long work in process, physically, financially and emotionally.
But the residence in New Mexico is slowly transitioning from being a place of sickness and burden, to being a place of rest and reflection. These kinds of shifts don’t happen overnight, and I know there will be bumps along the road.
There is a point where former caregivers can see beginnings, instead of just endings along their path of life. It takes some getting used to, but it’s part of the journey.
What helped you to cope after the death of a loved one?