Six months since Dad died

Today is the longest day of the year, in more ways than one for me. On a positive note, while I did not actively participate, I fully support all of those who took part in The Longest Day event sponsored by The Alzheimer’s Association. The stories are so inspiring.

On a sadder note, today is the six month anniversary of my father’s death. It’s hard to believe so much time has passed already. I still think about him often, and not just when I’m writing on this blog. There are still regrets and pangs of guilt to work through.

My parents long ago, before disease caught up to them.

But now, the bad news. My mom has been very ill for over a week now. Symptoms include vomiting (with brown flecks), shortness of breath, bloating and distended stomach, shortness of breath, fatigue, loss of appetite and extreme heartburn. My mom has been in very good health (other than depression and grief over Dad) so I’ve been very concerned. Finally she had some tests done, and per my mom, the doctor said there was a problem with her colon. Since the tests were just xrays, I guess the C-word couldn’t be used until Mom gets a colonoscopy, but of course, my mind is racing to the likely conclusion that she has colon cancer. I hope it turns out to be something more treatable, but it looks like surgery may be in her future.

What’s most troubling is that she couldn’t get an appointment to see a specialist until July 12th. Mom hasn’t been able to keep any food down for over a week. She says her regular doctor is supposed to follow up with her regarding nutrition. I hope so!

(I tried calling her doctor but Mom hasn’t filled out the form that allows me to get information so I’m barred per HIPAA from knowing anything. I’m all for privacy rights but at the moment it’s frustrating.)


Filed under Memories

9 responses to “Six months since Dad died

  1. letstalkaboutfamily

    Call your mom and ask her to call her physician to give you the right to talk to him about her health. Tell her you need more details and in the future it might be important to talk to her doctor for other reasons. Suggest you might have to arrange rides for her or even determine if you need to travel to be near her and it is important that her doctor have your name on file as someone he can talk to about her health.

    If she objects, Kay’s her if she has a health care power of attorney so that someone can talk to her doctor in case of emergency. It is really important in a health care emergency to be able to discuss options with her doctor.

    • I spoke to Mom today and told her to write my request down so she could ask the doctor the next time she spoke to her. I do think power of attorney may be in the near future. I will be visiting her soon, and I think it will be easier to knock out some of this paperwork in person. I want to get her on online bill pay so she doesn’t have to worry about the bills anymore.

  2. That’s not good. For either of you. Your Mum needs to be nourished. It’s funny, you know. For me, the anniversaries of Mum’s death sometimes turn out to be good days, but the grief comes in a tidal wave when I least expect it. It throws you.

  3. I hope your mum is ok and has a speedy recovery. Stay strong honey, sending hugs xxx

  4. I lived my my grandma, who suffers from dementia and Alzheimers, for almost two years. I have been posting stories I have written about my personal experiences on my blog if you care to check it out. They begin the the title “Living With Grandma.”

    Thanks, Casey

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