Category Archives: Memories

August 15, 2026 · 1:32 pm

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Living with Alzheimer’s & Other Dementias audiobook version is now available

If you’ve been following The Memories Project for awhile, you may remember that a story about my father’s dementia experience is included in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Living with Alzheimer’s and Other Dementias. This week, the audiobook companion version was released.

I’m not usually a huge fan of audiobooks but I have to say that these stories really come to life when you hear them spoken aloud. My story is called “French Toast.” You can purchase the audiobook version from your favorite retailer. Below is where I found my story but the chapter/track numbering may vary depending upon your preferred platform settings.

All of the stories are excellent and worth listening to; here are some of my favorites:

  • The Clock with One Hand
  • The Lady in the Mirror
  • The Bird
  • Talking Potato
  • The Bear
  • The Pianist
  • My Valentine

I like the fact that the collections spans the wide spectrum of experiences once can have on the dementia journey, from frustrating to heartbreaking to humorous. I typically focus on the negative aspects of the disease, so I was pleasantly surprised when my humorous story was chosen for this collection. It’s a reminder that humor can make a difference even in the darkest of times. I could have shelved the incident that inspired “French Toast” and never shared it beyond family, but something prompted me to submit it to a Chicken Soup for the Soul callout. And now all of these years later, almost 15 years after my father’s death, this little story now has the opportunity once again to put a smile on weary people’s faces.

Looking for more audio-based dementia content? Check out The Chicken Soup for the Soul podcast. A recent episode focuses on dementia care.

Book cover image courtesy of Chicken Soup for the Soul.

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August 9, 2026 · 3:06 pm

4 things to say before a loved one dies

Two people holding hands near a hospital bed with an elderly patient
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What should one say to a loved one who is dying?

It’s something that many people struggle with. I know I did, and the matter is complicated with a loved one who has dementia. It’s also a very personal conversation. But according to Dr. Ira Byock, a palliative care physician and author of The Four Things That Matter Most, these four simple phrases can say a lot:

“Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you.”

I wrote about my struggles with final words for my mother and father in The Reluctant Caregiver. Shortly before his death, while my father was in an induced coma, I expressed my love to him daily and I hope he felt the love that was surrounding him. With my mother, it was a mix of missed opportunities and missing the mark, but love was still shared. Death is often messy and unpredictable and not the carefully choreographed deathbed scenes depicted in films.

Other tips included in the Time article: try to balance out what you need to say to be at peace after your loved one’s death without overwhelming the dying person in their waning moments. The best time to relay your feelings is now.

What not to say to someone who is dying? The experts agreed that “I know how you feel” is the top phrase to avoid. Not only is it factually untrue, it makes the discussion more about you and your feelings than the dying person. Another phrase to avoid is anything concerned with quitting. Frustrated loved ones may not understand a person’s decision to stop treatment, but that is not for them to decide, and to judge a dying person as a quitter creates an unfair burden.

If you are agonizing over the right words to say, you may be surprised to learn that experts in death and dying shared that sometimes, silence is golden. Just being present in the room, holding someone’s hand, and listening if they are able to speak is profoundly meaningful.

What works for end-of-life conversations can also work for those moving through stages of dementia. If there are things you want to tell your loved one with dementia, don’t hesitate to share while they are still able to comprehend. I wish I had shared more with my father during that precious time.

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July 20, 2026 · 9:47 am

Birthday delights

Another birthday is in the books. I enjoyed a relaxing day filled with plenty of tasty treats.

At the farmer’s market I picked up sunflowers and peaches. As I get older, the simple pleasures matter the most.

While I haven’t always enjoyed having a summer birthday because the weather can be so hot and miserable, I do like the automatic mid-year check-in with myself it offers. In many ways it has been an odd year so far, but there have been some glimmers of hope along the way. Last year I launched a revamp of Respite Care Share around my birthday. This year I launched Caregiver Vent. I enjoy working on these projects as part of my caregiver advocacy efforts and The Memories Project continues to hold a special place in my heart.

My mother always tried to make my birthday special, and I have carried on that tradition for myself. There were some difficult birthdays during my caregiving years; that makes me even more grateful for the good ones.

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July 6, 2026 · 8:00 am

Marking Mom’s birthday

Today would have been Mom’s 89th birthday. As much as we were polar opposites in personality, I do find as I age that I’ve picked up some of her habits.

I’ve also been thinking of Mom recently because of a new project that I’ve been working on, Caregiver Vent. I’ve created a quiz-based resource for caregivers looking to earn a bit of extra money by taking surveys and sharing their opinion on caregiving and a variety of other topics. I’ve been doing surveys for the past several months and I was surprised at how often caregiver topics come up. No one knows better than caregivers that there’s a lot of room for improvement and caregivers have the personal experience needed to make a difference.

Mom loved giving her opinions about products and services. She didn’t wait for a survey; she was proactive and called. And when there was not a consumer feedback phone number readily available on the package, she’d call me to track it down on the internet. Over the years she gave feedback on everything from coffee canister lids to juice products. Companies would send her coupons and even branded items for her valuable feedback. It helped the companies but helped my mother as well; it made her feel useful and talking to customer service representatives eased her loneliness.

Finally, Mom loved a good deal. She had coupons for everything! So I have to share that I’m participating in the Smashwords July Summer/Winter sale. Get my books, including the award-winning The Reluctant Caregiver, for half-off the normal price. The sale runs all month long.

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June 28, 2026 · 2:50 pm

Heat waves: Stay safe and hydrate

Older man drinking water and woman sitting indoors with a fan and houseplants during heat wave

Each year I share a post about the dangers of heat when it comes to our elder loved ones. Here in Atlanta we are facing a heat advisory this week with temperatures in the mid-90s and high humidity. What’s miserable for some of us can be dangerous for those who are older or have certain health conditions.

In addition to having adequate cooling options such as air conditioning, staying properly hydrated is critical. Drinking enough liquids is something older people can struggle with, which surprised me, but I saw the behavior with my own parents. I also saw how being dehydrated could change one’s cognitive functioning in a significant way. I thought my mother was developing dementia but it turned out she was dehydrated and her sodium levels were out of balance. It was remarkable how quickly she regained her mental functions once she received saline fluids in the hospital.

Water by itself can be boring to some people, so keep in mind that all fluids count. There are also plenty of flavored, unsweetened or low-sugar beverage options on the market now that make staying hydrated more enjoyable. I enjoy flavored sparkling water, and Hint makes flavored still water. You can also buy a wide range of flavored powders to add to water or other beverages that support hydration and can provide additional nutrients. Products like Jelly Drops deliver a hydration boost and are popular with elders.

If you are experiencing a heat wave in your area, check on elder loved ones to make sure they have the support they need to remain comfortable and safe.

Summer safety tips from The Memories Project

Illustration generated by AI via WordPress.

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June 21, 2026 · 9:00 am

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day. The Memories Project was started in memory of my father. As a baby, I was definitely daddy’s little girl. As I grew older, I gravitated towards my mother as I spent most of my time with her. Dad worked the swing shift so once I started school, our schedules didn’t overlap much. I moved halfway across the country for college and so Dad and I never had the chance to reconnect on a deeper level.

Alzheimer’s is a cruel reminder of what you’ve lost of a loved one before they are actually gone from this world.

Fortunately I have photos and cards and recordings of my father singing to me when I was a baby so I will always remember that special father-daughter bond we had.

Hope you are able to spend time with your father today or find comfort in the memories.

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June 14, 2026 · 10:00 am

Caregiver guilt can be a motivating force

I came across a documentary series by Peter Murphy Lewis who was recently profiled on Being Patient. He candidly admits to “making a documentary out of guilt.” He was in another country working when his beloved grandfather, who had dementia, died.

From his grief and guilt came the idea for a documentary series, “People Worth Caring About.”


“We treat the buildings where our elders live as places of “sadness,” which inadvertently devalues the people who work there. It turns a noble calling into an invisible job,” Lewis said. His goal with the project is to shine a light on those workers who care for our elder loved ones.

My own family caregiving experience followed a similar road. I was in another state, working, when my father died from Alzheimer’s complications. I too remember getting that dreaded call while on the job. I also experienced a deep amount of guilt that I was mostly a long-distance caregiver. And similar to Lewis, that guilt inspired the birth of a creative project about caregiving. In my case, it’s the blog that you are reading right now, The Memories Project.

If you find yourself weighed down by guilt after the loss of a loved one, consider ways you can honor your loved one’s memory with your own unique skillset. It doesn’t have to be a public project. I know of people who have created a memorial garden in their backyard. It could also be a conscious lifestyle choice: to spend more quality time with family, to travel more, to take up a new hobby or reconnect with an old friend.

Everyone moves through the grief process in their own way. For some, embarking on such a project can bring some meaning and closure to one of the most difficult events a person can experience.

Image generated by Google Gemini.

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June 7, 2026 · 2:56 pm

A reminder about the high cost of Alzheimer’s care

Paying for Managed Care

I write a lot about the high cost of Alzheimer’s care, because I feel it’s vital that society understands just how expensive such specialized care is and how little government support there is to help middle-class families pay for it. I’m sharing this post from Mary K. Doyle who writes about her husband’s Alzheimer’s experience and outlines the costs involved whether one tries to care for their loved one at home or places them in a memory care facility.

As Doyle suggests, the best time to plan for such medical decisions is early in the Alzheimer’s journey. I wrote in The Reluctant Caregiver about the consequences of my parents not being prepared after my father experienced a medical emergency and could not be returned home due to his advanced Alzheimer’s disease. These are tough conversations to have, but being able to make such decisions while your loved one still is able to contribute their wishes is a true gift, and will give you some peace of mind as you navigate care options later down the road.

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May 21, 2026 · 6:51 pm

Remembering my mother, 11 years after her death

Death has a way of warping time. While 11 years doesn’t feel that long to me, it does seem like my mother died in a different era. For me, her death was the end of normal times, and the decade that has followed has ushered in a world I barely recognize.

As those who have experienced loss of a loved one knows, grief is not linear. It moves in unpredictable waves. Another way of describing it is “growing around grief.”

My mother doesn’t visit me that often in dreams but one way I feel her presence is each year, around the time of the anniversary of her death, the butterfly bush I planted in her honor begins to bloom.

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May 10, 2026 · 9:00 am

Happy Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day stirs a mixed range of emotions for me, as it does for many whose mothers are no longer alive. As I wrote about in The Reluctant Caregiver, my mother and I often did not see eye to eye. Yet there is a bond that can never be broken. I took my first breath in her presence, and she took her last breath in my presence.

I was getting my hair cut yesterday, and out of nowhere, I thought about one of the last photos ever taken of my mother, which was at the hair salon. How she even managed to get out of the house in the pain she was in, I don’t fully comprehend, but she loved to have her hair done.

She was gone two months later.

For those who are grieving this Mother’s Day, I hope you are able to find some comfort and peace through memories and reflections.

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