The Memories Project

I’m not one to shed tears very often, let alone for a celebrity. But Dolly Parton was different. When the news broke last week that she had died, I got choked up. While she had shared publicly that she’d been struggling with health issues since her husband’s death a year ago, it somehow seemed like Dolly’s light was so bright that it could never be extinguished. There are very few people in this world that their passing makes the world seem like a darker place.

Dolly Parton also makes me think of my mother. They both came from large farming families in the “hollers” of East Tennessee with no indoor plumbing and a way of life that emphasized hard work, faith, and family. Dolly was about a decade younger than my mother and her family was poorer but it was clear my mother felt a connection with Dolly through her songs about her childhood.

Another connection: they both dealt with bullies at school due to their economic status. My mother’s favorite Dolly song was “Coat of Many Colors.” She would cry every time while singing along with the lyrics. It made her think back on the times when the “city slicker” kids would mock her and her siblings for having to milk cows before boarding the school bus.

If this song doesn’t make you tear up and heart ache, I don’t know what to tell you.

And then there’s the love of makeup and to make people laugh. I was reading Dolly’s biography and I didn’t realize that like my mother, one of her siblings had died young. My mother was born the year after little Jim Carroll died at age three and my mother said she always felt like she was meant to lift the spirits of her grieving family, and that’s why she loved to make people laugh. She saw a similar spirit in Dolly as well.

Dolly and my mother both had an independent streak which extended to their faith. My mother was encouraged to go to bible college but she declined, instead working in the nursing field during her early twenties before enlisting in the Navy in her late twenties. She was stationed in California and ended up staying after her Navy career ended, instead of returning to Tennessee. She married later in life and had only one child. My mother rejected the hellfire and damnation religion of her youth and embraced a more positive, welcoming, nature-focused belief system. Yet another connection: Dolly and my mother both loved butterflies.

While Dolly Parton’s musical legacy is well-known, her thoughtful philanthropy is another gift to the world. Her Imagination Library that she started to support the community she grew up in has now grown across the nation and even to other countries. It’s a project that shows how successful a private-public partnership can be when it comes to supporting educational initiatives.

It’s unfortunate that those in power who boast about their faith while engaging in acts of corruption and cruelty refuse to recognize that Dolly’s form of faith (and my mother’s) which focused on accepting others as who the are, finding common ground, and working together can impact communities in a positive way. The bullies who refused to be swayed by Parton’s heartfelt plea as a child in the song “Coat of Many Colors” are the same kind of people operating the levers of power today. Yet Parton doesn’t back down to them, ending the song with a resolute refrain.

“But I was rich as I could be
In my coat of many colors
My momma made for me
Made just for me”

Her superstar career and generosity served as the sweetest, most sparkly serving of revenge.

It’s up to us to carry the light forward and hold those who try to block good deeds accountable.

Image: On the left, my mother posing on the farm with Spoolie, the beloved family dog. Small inset photo is of my farmer grandparents.