The home health care agency asked Mom this week if she wanted to join a widow’s group. Mom balked at the idea: “A bunch of women sitting around and telling sad stories. I think that would make me feel worse.”
Yet Mom will tell a stranger at the drop of the hat about Dad’s passing, how he had dementia, how she took care of him at home for three years, etc. The group might have done her good, at least she would have a captive audience to talk to. But I know better than to push her.
But now as the calendar inches closer and closer to the first anniversary of Dad’s death, I’m fascinated by the various ways we grieve as humans. Honestly, considering what I’ve been dealing with this year, I don’t even feel I’ve had time to properly grieve Dad. For me, it’s a much more internal process, and my outward grieving is done through this blog.
If Dad had outlived Mom, I think he would have been a lost soul. I think I would have arranged to have him fly home to Ireland, to live with his remaining family there. I don’t think he would have been able to “fly solo” as Mom has done.
Grief is never easy, but we all have our own ways of processing our feelings about the loss of a loved one.
3 responses to “The grief process”
What a sad, but lovely story. Really interesting perspective as I look at my folks and wonder what will come for them in the future. Thanks!
I do not know your mother’s comfort level with computers, but I have found the website groww.org to be helpful. They have a room for widows and there are people of all ages. I think there is a room for a loss of parent as well. Sometimes it is nice to chat with those who “get it.”
Thanks for the suggestion. I wish I could get my mom over her fear of computers!