Reflecting upon older losses in a period of raw grief and renewal

Today marks six years since my mother’s death. I have to say that Mom had an uncanny sense of timing for her departure from this earth. The world has faced a series of challenges over the last several years that has left a path of death, destruction, and fractured relations that I’m glad my mother did not have to live through.

Now many of us find ourselves teetering between anticipation about establishing a new normal while mourning the losses that have piled up. And of course there are those like myself, mourning pre-pandemic losses of loved ones. It’s an odd mix of emotions; one may feel guilty about experiencing the joy of reunions while others have yet to bid a formal farewell to their loved ones while the pandemic rages on in India and other parts of the world.

My mother was the eternal optimist, to a fault in some cases, as I write about in The Reluctant Caregiver. I am more of a realist with pessimistic tendencies, but I do believe that the best antidote to the last several years of chaos and upheaval is by embracing whatever brings us joy. Give yourself grace and let go of whatever pain you can. My mother and I had a difficult relationship in ways because of our contrasting personalities. With the passage of time, I now can better focus on her positive attributes, including those I embrace in my life, such as her love of animals and nature, her sense of humor, and being kind to those in the service industry.

I hope you are able to find some sense of peace during this unusual period of grief and renewal.