Marking the anniversary of my father’s death

My father died 13 years ago today. Having spent time recently going through the final batch of my father’s possessions, I feel his spirit even closer this year.

I didn’t have down time while I was cleaning out my parents’ condo, so I got up extra early on the day I was leaving to visit the library. I took a photo with one of the bear statues. It was too early for the library to be open but I was glad I squeezed in the time to take in the sights and sounds of nature along the picturesque walking trail to the library, as my father did so many times.

It was my father’s favorite spot. He spent countless hours there, and even as his dementia progressed and his reading skills diminished, he still made his way to the library out of habit.

I don’t visit libraries myself anymore, having adopted the convenience of e-books, but as I mentioned in my last blog post, libraries will always hold a special place in my heart.

Even though it’s been well over a decade since my father’s passing, marking the somber anniversary still does have an impact on my holiday spirit. For those who have experienced loss during the holiday season, allow yourself the space and self-compassion to adjust expectations.

Reflection and remembrance can take many forms, and your preferences may change over time. Be authentic and don’t try to force emotions.

I know this can be easier said than done when it comes to demands from others, who may not appreciate the complexities and individuality of the grieving process. My wish for you this holiday season is that others will be supportive and understanding.