Tag Archives: parents

August 15, 2012 · 9:29 pm

Retracing Dad’s steps

There’s a lovely trail near my parents’ condo. Mom and Dad used to walk this trail frequently. It was one of their favorite things to do in Ruidoso.

Yesterday I found myself on the same trail, which overlooks a golf course with a majestic mountain range in the background.

Everyone walking the trail seemed so relaxed. They were out enjoying nature, such a wonderful stress reliever.

I know I will be walking this trail frequently in the weeks to come and I hope it can bring me the same joy. I can feel my Dad’s spirit with every step I take.

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August 10, 2012 · 8:29 pm

Trying to correct past wrongs

As I’ve written about before, I have guilt about not visiting Dad in the last few weeks of his life on this earth. Dad didn’t recognize me at that point, but I would have benefited from spending time with him that final December of his life.

Today, I quit my decent-paying job so that I can go stay with Mom in New Mexico and help her until she is more independent. I may be there a month or six months, I just don’t know now.

I am not the type to quit a job on a lark. This was a difficult decision, but a necessary one.

And I hope that I have reset my karma after the last month and a half, and the sacrifice I’m making going forward. My mom deserves it, just like Dad did, but now I have one last chance to do things right.

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July 9, 2012 · 8:39 pm

Repairing the body, not the mind

Mom did well during surgery, and is now recovering. The marvels of modern medicine has saved my mom’s life, but of course it also hits an elderly person’s body hard. Mom looks and feels like she’s been caught in a tornado, but her sense of humor is still intact.

From time to time, a flicker of fear flashes across her eyes. Is it because of her near brush with death? Or is it just a side effect of all the pain meds she’s on?

I remember seeing that same look of fear in Dad’s eyes toward the end of his life. He looked more and more like a little lost deer that had been separated from his mother.

Dad also went through surgery. His body recovered from the gallstone surgery. Unfortunately, there was no doctor in the world that could repair his mind.

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July 7, 2012 · 6:10 pm

The eyes and smile of a fragile parent

Mom is headed to surgery tomorrow. All best wishes and prayers accepted!

As I was watching her rest today in the hospital, she opened her eyes from a nap and rested her gaze slowly on me. A dawning realization spread across her face, and a weak smile greeted me. This was the same reaction I got from Dad, though with less recollection of who I was. Still, he always seemed grateful to see me at his bedside. It is such a sweet, innocent, pure gesture. It’s love in action, in its simplest form.

It’s beautiful and heartbreaking, yet rewarding at the same time.

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