Mom is depressed. I know this. She knows this. Admitted it to the doctor when he asked.
But she remains very resistant to the idea of talk therapy.
This, from the woman who can, and does, talk to everyone! She’s never met a stranger, and she’s collected the life stories from hundreds of strangers while riding the bus or waiting in line at the grocery store. Mom is not shy at all about discussing depressing personal subjects, like Dad’s Alzheimer’s or her own battle with cancer.
The woman who admits she is lonely and just wants someone to talk to, still refuses to go talk to a therapist once or twice a week. There is a special program in her town designed to deal with geriatric mental health issues.
Mom says it’s because they won’t come to the house. The doctor wants to encourage my mom to stay active and get out of the house. The personal care service can and does drive her to any appointments.
Perhaps it is more of a generational issue. Mom comes from a generation that quietly bore their burdens, versus jumping on the therapist’s couch. Psychoanalysis was more of an upper-class pastime than something the average person engaged in. Now, therapy is recommended for just about anyone, even children.
But maybe we need to rethink senior therapy to encourage more people like my mom to participate. Perhaps an initial home visit/assessment, then subsequent office visits. When you physically feel lousy, you are going to feel even more depressed but may not feel like getting dressed and leaving the house.
Once my mom connects with someone, it lifts her spirits and she is willing to be more flexible with her routine. For example, sometimes the personal care attendant can only come at 10am, which is early for my mom. Guess what? Mom has adjusted just fine.
This is probably a short-term issue, as I have a feeling baby boomers will have no problem with therapy, but it does make me feel for all of those lonely, depressed seniors isolated in their homes right now. I wish we could reach out to them effectively. (Mom refuses to go to the Senior Center as well!)
Are there programs in your community that are designed to help seniors battle depression or loneliness?