My mom and dad spent a great deal of time together, especially after my dad retired. As with most people, they could end up wearing on each other’s nerves from time to time. As I’ve mentioned previously, Mom always babied Dad a bit. The man was barely allowed in the kitchen, unless it was time to eat. I don’t think Dad (in his right mind) could have made himself a cup of coffee if his life had depended upon it. Mom made all the meals, all the snacks and every cup of coffee that passed Dad’s lips at home. The home was her domain (befitting her Cancer astrology sign) and Dad knew his place in the home.
And I don’t think Dad minded this arrangement one bit. After all, he came from a generation where the woman was the homemaker and stayed at home to raise the children and support the family’s needs.
My mom told me recently that before Dad had dementia, sometimes she would just need some alone time, and gasp, didn’t feel like making dinner. So she would send Dad off and would tell him he was on his own for dinner. He never once complained about being shooed out of the house. He usually ended up at McDonald’s. One time he brought her home a cookie from whatever restaurant he dined at. I’m guessing Dad needed his alone time just as much as Mom did. Of course, once the dementia set in, Mom would have given anything to have another non-eventful meal with that former version of her husband, the easy-going man who she was married to for 40 years.