Tag Archives: mother’s day

This May marks 10 years since my mother’s death. It’s hard to believe that my mother has been gone that long.

Because of the timing, Mother’s Day has become another day of mourning for me. The last Mother’s Day my mother was alive, she was less than two weeks from dying. I was very aware of my mother’s impending death but my mother, the eternal optimist, was less certain. What message to write in the card your mother will receive on her final Mother’s Day? I agonized over the few lines, settling on a message of gratitude and acknowledging that I would support her through her journey from this world. She appreciated the card and especially the flowers that I bought her, but I think no matter how gentle I broached the subject, my mother was still resistant to recognizing her own mortality.

Since my mother’s death, I’ve joined those who find the incessant marketing around Mother’s Day tiring and virtually inescapable. A few thoughtful companies offer opt-out emails for holiday promotions, but mostly it’s Mother’s Day ads everywhere, from TV commercials to website ads and smartphone messages. Of course I’m pleased that people who have living mothers get to dote on them, but every ad is yet another reminder of the most difficult period of my life. Getting through the day only makes me one day closer to the anniversary of her death, May 21.

Writer Anne Lamott posted her annual Mother’s Day message on Facebook for those who dread the holiday. For those of you who may be struggling with feelings of grief and longing this Mother’s Day, I hope you find some solace and recognition in her words.

If you find yourself feeling complicated emotions on Mother’s Day, this article in Sunday Paper offers helpful tips.

This is the first Mother’s Day I will experience motherless. At this time last year, Mom was quickly approaching death. In fact, I got her flowers early because I was afraid she might not live until Mother’s Day.

Knowing that would be the last Mother’s Day she would be alive was difficult. How do you express a lifetime of gratitude into a single day?

But experiencing Mother’s Day without a living mother is equally as difficult.

It is almost impossible to avoid the holiday. Mother’s Day ads are online, in stores, on TV … reminders to honor your mother are everywhere. I received an email reminder from the florist, to remind me I bought Mom flowers last year, and did I want to order again this year?  I’m sure the business thought this was a good selling tool, but it was just a gut-wrenching reminder of the sadness I felt when placing that order. (On the flip side, Mom loved the flowers.)

I just got back from a visit to what was my parents’ condo. Each trip I am trying to make a few changes, to slowly transition it from a place of sadness and illness, which it became over the last several years of my parents’ life, to a peaceful mountain respite that my parents enjoyed for many years.

My mother’s perfume still lingers in the bedroom. Of course I reflected on the events of last year while I was there, but I busied myself by putting together new furniture and rearranging things to make it my own. It’s what my parents would want, and I left the condo feeling fairly good about the progress.

And now, a week of nonstop Mother’s Day advertisements to navigate. I know at least a few fellow bloggers who have lost their mothers in recent years, so I know you understand how it feels. Certainly just because our mothers are no longer living doesn’t mean we cannot honor their life on Mother’s Day, and that’s what I intend upon doing.

How will you mark Mother’s Day?