Doing what’s right for your parents

When my dad became ill, Mom was the one making the big health decisions. I didn’t always agree with her, but it also removed me from some of the guilt I might have otherwise felt. I also didn’t understand how complicated the red tape can get when you have a loved one working their way through the healthcare system. Dementia adds another layer of difficulty.

But now, Mom is the one sick. And eventually, and it’s looking like it may be sooner than later, it will be my turn to manage her care.

I can’t help but compare the two situations. Mom is threatening to skip the colonoscopy. I can’t say I blame her, but I also know that Mom would have made the decision for Dad to have the colonoscopy, even if he had protested. She always said she wanted to give him every chance possible to live.

I always thought Mom was forever the optimist, but now that she’s ill, reality has taken over.

As a realist myself, one would assume I would be relieved. But I miss my mom’s hope, even if it is futile.