Tag Archives: elderly parents

Taking charge of a parent’s life

Today, Mom filled out the power of attorney forms. I’m now in charge of the important decisions concerning her life. If there is a bright side, it’s that Mom knows it’s necessary and trusts me completely. I know for many families, it can be a real struggle. Who wants to admit that they can’t manage their own lives anymore?

Mom did ask if the power of attorney could be reversed if a miracle happened and she becomes like she was before. She was assured that she could revoke it at any time. I joked with her, “Sure, if you really want to start dealing with all of those bills again.”

I’m sure Mom would like nothing more than to return to her own boring, routine life. (I know I would love to return to mine.)

Still, at least we are taking the proper steps now, unlike we did with Dad. No will, no power of attorney with Dad. There’s so much red tape, and so many hoops that you have to jump through when you don’t fill out simple paperwork before you get sick. His bank accounts are still sitting there in limbo, and we certainly could use those funds now, as Mom is entering her last week of rehab that’s covered by Medicare.

The future … that remains a question mark.

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Doing what’s right for your parents

When my dad became ill, Mom was the one making the big health decisions. I didn’t always agree with her, but it also removed me from some of the guilt I might have otherwise felt. I also didn’t understand how complicated the red tape can get when you have a loved one working their way through the healthcare system. Dementia adds another layer of difficulty.

But now, Mom is the one sick. And eventually, and it’s looking like it may be sooner than later, it will be my turn to manage her care.

I can’t help but compare the two situations. Mom is threatening to skip the colonoscopy. I can’t say I blame her, but I also know that Mom would have made the decision for Dad to have the colonoscopy, even if he had protested. She always said she wanted to give him every chance possible to live.

I always thought Mom was forever the optimist, but now that she’s ill, reality has taken over.

As a realist myself, one would assume I would be relieved. But I miss my mom’s hope, even if it is futile.

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