“No more hugs!”

Mom is getting a bit weary of being under the wing of a caregiver (me) and the home health care agency. She’s at that point where she’s feeling well enough to want her old life back, but she also knows that she has new limitations on her that prevent her from fully embracing her previous life.

Dad’s dementia created many limitations, both mentally and physically. But despite how he regressed partially into childhood, he still tried to maintain a sliver of independence. When Mom would go visit him at the nursing home, and she would try to hug him repeatedly when she was departing, Dad would pull away and loudly command, “No more hugs!”

At first it bothered Mom but then she interpreted it as Dad trying to hold on to a piece of himself. She relates the memory fondly now. Of course, little did she know that a year later she would be the one fighting to hold on to her independence.