Tag Archives: dementia

Protect your loved one with dementia from becoming a victim of a scam

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It’s heartbreaking to hear stories where elder loved ones are scammed out of thousands of dollars. These criminals can be found all over the world, only needing a list of phone numbers or email addresses to find their next victim.

A new study has found that those who are more prone to becoming scam victims may be at greater risk of dementia. In today’s world, it’s not just phone scams that one has to worry about, but online scams as well.

My father was not a phone person, but he did send money to a variety of religious organizations. They were supposed to be representing Catholic churches or charities, and he would get a small token or prayer request in exchange for whatever he sent. It may have been totally legitimate, but after he was gone, I found hundreds of pieces of correspondence from these groups. I wonder if he gave more as his dementia progressed.

My mother was the phone person in our family. She didn’t have dementia but she did have a quality that made her potentially susceptible to scammers: loneliness. She loved to talk on the phone to people, whether she knew them or not! They would be her friend by the end of the conversation. I remember getting upset with my mother when she told a telemarketer that she had won the lottery. Why would you share personal financial information with a stranger? My mom’s response was that the telemarketer had said she was a “nice lady.” Sigh. Fortunately, nothing came of the incident, and to be fair to my mother, she was aware of the scams that were going around targeting seniors.

Credit.com has a nice resource which breaks down the  most common online scams and offers tips to help seniors avoid becoming a victim. Monitoring your elder loved one’s financial statements is key. If your older relatives enjoy going online, there are a set of simple steps you can take to provide them a secure experience. Staying vigilant is the best way to combat such criminal activity.

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Latest Alzheimer’s report demands action

The Alzheimer’s Association released its 2019 Alzheimer’s Disease Facts and Figures report, and the statistics are sobering. Almost 6 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s disease, and it is the sixth-leading cause of death in the U.S.

On the caregiving front, more than 16 million Americans are providing unpaid care for people with Alzheimer’s and other dementias. The value of their work is approximately $234 billion.

While the numbers are grim, the 2019 report makes crystal clear that we need bipartisan support at the federal level in addressing what is a health care crisis. Alzheimer’s disease is so costly, yet lags in research funds. Alzheimer’s caregivers need far greater support, both financially and in respite care.

Read the full report on the Alzheimer’s Association website.

alz assoc 2019 report

(Infographic courtesy of the Alzheimer’s Association)

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Tips on how to communicate with those who have dementia

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Couleur/Pixabay

One of the things I struggled with the most when spending time with my dad who had Alzheimer’s was communication. I didn’t know how to act, or what to say. Should I talk slower, use simpler words or should I speak normally? And when Dad spoke what sounded like gibberish to me, how was I to respond?

It’s a common struggle for dementia caregivers. You see the person in front of you, who looks just like the person you’ve known all your life, and then they open their mouth and say something inappropriate or bizarre. You freeze, your gut twists and you find yourself in a new world, one in which you’ve had no training or preparation.

This Communicating with Alzheimer’s guide offers helpful tips on how to connect with your loved ones with dementia. Here are some of the tips that I found particularly helpful:

  • Maintain eye contact: This can offer reassurance and be a sign of sincerity and thoughtfulness. Focusing fully on a person struggling to communicate can help with understanding as well. The person may use body language to compensate for fading verbal skills.
  • Don’t argue or correct: Those with dementia will often say things that aren’t true or ask for loved ones who are long dead. Some dementia caregivers struggle with the concept of white lies, but it truly is the right thing to do. My mother often tried to correct my father when he said something that wasn’t true, and it didn’t do any good. It only frustrated my father and my mother. If a person with dementia think it’s Wednesday and it’s Monday, so be it. If they want to know where their mother who has been dead for 20 years is, you can simply say they are well and on a vacation.
  • Maintain a quiet, calm environment: I remember the time my parents came to see me at the hotel I was staying at, which was connected to a casino. The minute my father entered the noisy, chaotic lobby, I realized how stupid it was to bring him into that kind of environment. I chronicle that moment in my book, The Reluctant Caregiver. Those with dementia can become overstimulated quite easily and this can negatively effect their ability to communicate.
  • Use humor whenever possible: I used to cringe at some of the silly things my father would say, but in retrospect, it would have been better to just laugh and engage him in whatever train of thought he was having at the moment. Humor is a stress reliever and can lift the mood, which are important for both the person with dementia and their caregiver.

What communication tips do you find work best?

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Patients in Dementialand by Welcome to Dementialand

I totally agree with this! It serves as a good reminder to all of us, and especially those of us who work in the media world, to use person-centered language and not associate someone solely with their disease. Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia take enough from a person without us contributing to the problem.

Let’s talk about patients. You probably think that’s a typo. I know that it’s not rare to see a typo in my blog. You probably think I meant patience–but I didn’t. I want to talk about dementia “patients.” First, an analogy… My husband, Bill, has had terrible acid reflux since adolescence. He takes medication everyday. […]

Read the full post via Patients in Dementialand — Welcome to Dementialand

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February 28, 2019 · 5:06 pm

Dementia is a thief, but should caregivers be stripped of all joy?

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The complex emotional toll of Alzheimer’s has been in the news the past week. The Washington Post wrote an article about B. Smith, the model, restaurateur and lifestyle guru who has early-onset Alzheimer’s and how her husband has formed a relationship with another woman. B. Smith’s loyal fans were not happy about this development.

Dan Gasby tried to defend himself amidst withering criticism, saying in interviews that B. Smith told him to “go on” after her diagnosis in 2014. He says he’s a better caregiver to his wife now that he’s happier.

Gasby has at least one high-profile supporter: Patti Davis, daughter of Ronald Reagan. In her essay, titled, Alzheimer’s is a cruel thief. Don’t blame caregivers for still finding joy, she reflects upon the emotional devastation an Alzheimer’s diagnosis can bring and what that can do to a couple. She encourages the public to be more sympathetic to those in Gasby’s position.

The issue is at its heart an emotional gut-punch so the fact that it inspires heated opinions is not surprising. What I’ve learned over the years as a  family caregiver for someone with dementia is that I wouldn’t want someone to judge my choices and so I try to refrain from judging others, as long as no harm is being done. While I may not make the same choice as Gasby has made, I cannot rule it out completely either. Those who are outraged on social media would better use their energy volunteering at a memory care center or arranging respite care for a caregiver in their life.

As Patti Davis says, Alzheimer’s is a cruel thief. How much should we allow the disease to steal from caregivers?

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4 Disturbing Dementia Behaviors and How You Can Go From Frustration to Connection — The Imperfect Caregiver

This blog post by Bobbi Carducci is a good reminder on how dementia caregivers must learn a new way to connect and communicate with their loved one, as verbal skills begin to decline. She offers good tips on how you can manage some of the most difficult dementia behaviors.

Often the behavior of someone with dementia is so changeable and unpredictable it’s almost impossible to figure out what is going on, leaving the caregiver confused and frustrated. Why is your spouse confused with you and so alert when someone comes to visit? Why does your mother, who is usually calm and agreeable, suddenly become […]

via 4 Disturbing Dementia Behaviors and How You Can Go From Frustration to Connection — The Imperfect Caregiver

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January 31, 2019 · 9:19 pm

AlzAuthors releases anthology, hosting National Family Caregivers Month book sale

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November is National Family Caregivers Month. The National PACE Association says this year’s theme is “Caregiving Around the Clock.” If you’ve been a caregiver, you wholeheartedly agree with that theme!

AlzAuthors has two exciting promotions going on to mark the special month. First, the group of Alzheimer’s authors has released an anthology, Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregiving Stories, featuring the personal stories of 58 AlzAuthors contributors. I am honored to be one of the contributors. The book will be released Nov. 7.alzauthors anthology cover

AlzAuthors is recognizing and honor family caregivers of those with dementia across the country by hosting a book sale and giveaway. The eBook sale will run from Nov. 7-Nov. 13. Books will range in price from free to $2.99, to help those on limited budgets access worthy books that can help them on their own caregiving journeys.

My book, The Reluctant Caregiver, will be on sale for just 99 cents during the promotion. The award-winning collection of personal essays offers a nontraditional view of family caregiving, and includes several essays about the challenges of caring for those with dementia.

This is the last AlzAuthors book sale of the year, so don’t miss out!

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Food And Alzheimer’s: How To Maximize Nutrition And Make Mealtimes Easier — The Diary of An Alzheimer’s Caregiver

Good tips here! While my dad retained a remarkable appetite when he was in the memory care center, when he landed in the hospital, his appetite dissipated. Caregivers should be prepared to “bend the rules” and let dessert be eaten first, etc. In the end, it doesn’t matter about the order of consumption, as long as your loved one is happy and eating.

Sign up to get these posts and a whole lot more delivered right to your inbox! The Diary of An Alzheimer’s Caregiver – Appreciate the good, laugh at the crazy, and deal with the rest! 97 more words

via Food And Alzheimer’s: How To Maximize Nutrition And Make Mealtimes Easier — The Diary of An Alzheimer’s Caregiver

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August 21, 2018 · 8:35 pm

Alzheimer’s and agitation: How caregivers can cope

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Photo by Gabriella Fabbri/Freeimages

Among the most disturbing and difficult behaviors for caregivers of those with Alzheimer’s to manage is agitation and aggression. Unfortunately, agitation and aggression are quite common symptoms, with almost half of those with Alzheimer’s exhibiting such behaviors, according to a 2008 study.

infographic-4_editedI witnessed the effects my father’s aggressive behavior had on my mother. Even though my dad was slim, when agitated he proved to be far more than my mother could handle. He still could pack a punch, literally, as when he hauled off and hit my mother in the chin with his fist. He claimed he was shadow boxing and she got in the way.

My father was eventually placed in a memory care center, in part due to his aggressive behavior.

Over the years, I’ve learned tips on how to best manage Alzheimer’s agitation and aggression. The key is that not every solution works for every patient; each case is unique. Here are some suggestions I found helpful:

  • Determine if agitation follows a pattern: For some people with Alzheimer’s, they become more agitated at dusk (sundowning) or during specific tasks, like getting a bath or taking medication. (For my dad, it was the bedtime routine.) Consider that the task may be frustrating to complete for the person with Alzheimer’s. If a certain event is a known trigger, it can be helpful in reducing agitation. Distract with an activity to reduce the effects of sundowning. Have an aide help with bathing. Try to disguise medication in food or a smoothie if possible.
  • Create a calm environment: Those with dementia tend to do best in calm environments that reduce the risk of overstimulation. Noise in particular can be overwhelming. Try soothing, familiar music and lights that are bright enough to maintain safety in the home but that don’t create a harsh glare. Limit caffeine if that is determined to increase agitation. Natural remedies, such as soothing teas and herbs may be helpful, but always check with a doctor first.
  • Stay active: For those with Alzheimer’s who are ambulatory, exercise can help reduce aggression and agitation. My dad loved to take long walks, and as his dementia progressed, he spent more time indoors, which was a source of frustration for him and increased his agitation. For those who have difficulty walking, doing simple household tasks like folding towels can be useful in preventing boredom, as can activities like simple jigsaw puzzles and coloring books.
  • Medication: While medication is not effective for some patients, it can be a useful tool when combined with the above suggestions. Consult your loved one’s physician to learn about options. Consider enrolling your loved one in a drug trial if they qualify.

One important factor to keep in mind is that agitation that appears suddenly may be related to a physical ailment your loved one is experiencing but cannot communicate their discomfort. For example, urinary tract infections are common in those with dementia, and can create very uncomfortable symptoms, which can increase agitation. A new medication can also increase aggression. Share any concerns with your loved one’s doctor.

What methods have you found to curb aggression and agitation in those with Alzheimer’s disease?

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Fireworks and Sundowning – Not a Happy Fourth of July — The Imperfect Caregiver

A good reminder that not everyone reacts well to fireworks, including people with dementia. (This can also apply to people with autism and pets, among other groups.) Have a safe and happy Fourth of July!

As if sundowning weren’t a challenge for those with dementia and their caregivers we add fireworks to the mix on July 4th each year. A person who once loved fireworks may respond differently now. For someone with dementia, the loud pops and explosions can trigger memories of wartime experiences causing a return or worsening of […]

via Fireworks and Sundowning – Not a Happy Fourth of July — The Imperfect Caregiver

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July 3, 2018 · 7:16 am