Tag Archives: caregiving

October 17, 2026 · 4:08 pm

Caregiving requires taking risks

I had to chuckle when I saw this latest result from my AncestryDNA panel: “Your DNA suggests you avoid taking risks.”

It’s quite an accurate assessment, at least in my personal life. When I do take risks on a personal level, I tend to go big. For example, I attended college halfway across the country from my home. After college, I moved to Atlanta without knowing anyone. And for my 50th birthday, I took a literal leap that I still can’t believe I did. I’ve carried a bit of that adventurous spirit with me by engaging in activities like riding in autonomous vehicles.

But most of the time, I make prudent, thoughtful choices after much consideration of benefits and risks.

In my professional life I’m much more open to risk-taking: throughout my career, I’ve been open to experimenting with new technologies and methods, often leading the charge.

Nothing prepares one adequately for becoming a caregiver. You’ll be taking risks and pushed outside of your comfort zone on a daily basis. Often decisions have to be made quickly and you’ll be forced to muddle through and face uncertain outcomes. My story that appears in the new Chicken Soup for the Soul: Best Cat Ever collection is about taking a risk in the most improbable circumstances. Without indulging my heart in that moment, I would have missed out on the love of a precious cat.

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Best Cat Ever goes on sale Oct. 27. If you happen to be in the metro Atlanta area, you can stop by the Good Mews Harvest Market on Oct. 24 to purchase an early signed copy. All proceeds will go to the shelter where I adopted the star of the story, Rosalie.

Here’s the social post that won my heart. Look at that sweet, bewildered face! It’s not lost on me that according to this profile, Rosalie also didn’t like change. Another sign that we were meant to find one another.

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October 11, 2026 · 11:30 am

My story featured in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Best Cat Ever

I’m pleased to announce that my story “Against All Odds” is included in the latest Chicken Soup for the Soul book, Best Cat Ever.

The book goes on sale October 27, 2026. Find it at your favorite book retailer. Pre-order now on Amazon and Bookshop.org. You can also save it to your Goodreads shelf.

If you are in the metro Atlanta area, stop by the Good Mews Harvest Market on Oct. 24 to buy an early, signed copy. All proceeds from the Harvest Market go to help cats in need.

My story is about adopting my beloved Rosalie. I wrote about her passing in 2021 and what she meant to me. “Against All Odds” is very much about the challenges of being a caregiver and needing to embrace rare opportunities of joy even in the darkest days.

The book will make a great holiday gift for all of the cat lovers on your list!

My unboxing video for Chicken Soup for the Soul: Best Cat Ever

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September 27, 2026 · 12:52 pm

Navigating the spectrum of caregiver emotions

AARP had a column recently that tackled the issue of maintaining a healthy perspective as a caregiver. Can one dare to hope and maintain some optimism while still keeping solid footing in reality?

Like with all aspects of caregiving, it’s not easy. Family therapist and clinical psychologist Barry Jacobs offers some helpful tips. Jacobs notes that while optimism has been found to have positive health benefits, finding a middle ground between hope and realistic expectations may help protect emotional well-being.

If you’ve read my book The Reluctant Caregiver, you know I’m on the pessimistic end of the spectrum. Always prepared for the worst but grateful for good news helped me maintain my resilience throughout my caregiving journey.

Jacobs suggests caregivers adopt “cautious optimism.” Jacobs says this “requires the ability to simultaneously hold on to both hope and the prospect of further decline.” Sounds like a challenge but caregivers are up to the task. Here are tips from Jacobs on finding a good balance:

Aim for support and comfort, not a cure: Sometimes caregivers convince themselves that if they just provide enough loving care, they can overcome a poor prognosis. Sometimes people do beat a grim diagnosis or live years longer than expected. But conditions like dementia are terminal, even if there are ups and downs along the way. That’s why Jacobs encourages caregivers to set a more realistic and meaningful goal, which is to provide compassionate care for your loved one.

I’ve written a lot about caregiver guilt. The best we can do as caregivers for someone who is terminal is provide comfort care and a reassuring presence.

Plan for good and bad outcomes: Education is key as a caregiver. When my father developed dementia symptoms and my mother was diagnosed with colon cancer, I immersed myself in the relevant caregiver communities in addition to diving into the scientific research. Knowledge is powerful and will help you plan for the good, the bad, and the unexpected. Caregiving always throws some curve balls but being aware that those outcomes exist can help manage expectations as a caregiver.

Accept the unexpected: This is the most valuable piece of advice that helped me as a caregiver. No matter how much you prepare, you can’t predict all of the twists and turns that is the roller coaster ride of caregiving. Jacobs makes a good point that waves of grief may hit even before a care recipient’s death, as we watch a loved one decline despite our best efforts.

For more caregiving tips, visit AARP.

Image by AbsolutVision from Pixabay.

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September 20, 2026 · 11:38 am

World Alzheimer’s Day: Optimism and concern for researchers

World Alzheimer’s Day September 21; Forget Me Not – Raising Awareness, Finding Hope. “Uniting for Memory, Embracing Tomorrow.” Never Alone.

September 21 is World Alzheimer’s Day. Since beginning The Memories Project in 2012 in memory of my father, I’ve followed the developments in Alzheimer’s research and support for caregivers.

There have been some notable achievements when it comes to developing blood tests that can accurately detect Alzheimer’s. More convenient, accurate, and affordable testing means more people can get diagnosed earlier, when the current treatments have the best opportunity to be effective.

As far as medications, it’s been more of a mixed result. Some potentially promising drugs have failed, while other medications have had a bumpy rollout. Limited effectiveness, side effects, and costs are factors to consider, but I do understand those with Alzheimer’s and their families wanting the right to try such treatments.

I’m not so optimistic that I think we’ll have a cure for Alzheimer’s in my lifetime. For my sake, as someone with a copy of the APOE4 gene and Alzheimer’s common on both sides of my family tree, I do hope we’ll find more effective and accessible treatments. Something that preserves more of a person’s cognitive function, so they can continue to live independent lives would be a gamechanger.

And we must think beyond just pharmaceutical solutions. Research has shown that lifestyle changes can make a difference in preventing or delaying dementia. Unfortunately the government has cut funding for some Alzheimer’s studies that are needed to understand the differences in how the disease develops across gender, race, and economic levels to inform effective interventions and prevention recommendations. Those who care about developing effective treatments for Alzheimer’s and other dementias need to vote for officials who believe in science and funding research. For trustworthy information on dementia research, check out Being Patient.

If you want to get involved, sign up with the Alzheimer’s Impact Movement for government advocacy and the Alzheimer’s Prevention Registry to participate in research studies. I’ve been a member of the registry since 2012. I also am a member of the Brain Health Registry and participated in an Olfaction Study and an ongoing study where I complete surveys and brain games every six months. These are simple yet meaningful ways to support research efforts.

Caregivers continue the fight for better support. There are several organizations who advocate for caregivers. Beyond AARP and the Alzheimer’s Association, I’m a fan of Caring Across Generations. I also have a few resources that I’ve created, including Respite Care Share and Caregiver Vent.

The seemingly slow progress can be frustrating for those who are currently living with Alzheimer’s or other dementias. Instead of feeling helpless and hopeless, I try to support the community through sharing my family’s story.

Read The Reluctant Caregiver, my award-winning caregiving personal essay collection.

Illustration generated with AI via WordPress.

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August 23, 2026 · 2:02 pm

Memory Generation: Theatre show captures real-life experiences of dementia caregiving

Being Patient recently profiled a unique theatre show that highlights the complex dynamics of the dementia caregiving experience.

“Memory Generation” is the creation of Sara Zatz and Sherrine Azab. The interactive theater production is set in a memory cafe.

The concept for the show was sparked by one of the creator’s family members. Her father had dementia and his partner, who was dealing with her own physical condition, expressed how people don’t understand how relationship dynamics change after a dementia diagnosis. She suggested creating a show around that theme. The actors involved in the show also have a personal connection with caregiving. To capture the diversity of the dementia caregiving experience, interviews with those in the dementia care community were conducted across the country.

It had a premiere this year in 2026 and there are plans to bring the show to Detroit. The hope is that “Memory Generation” inspires more community-based art projects about dementia caregiving. The takeaways for audiences is to think more about what does it mean to live in a dementia-friendly society and the show’s creators hope to spark a conversation on how artists can help facilitate the growth of care-centered communities.

I’m a big believer in raising awareness for dementia through art. Through real-life story collections like Chicken Soup for the Soul: Living with Alzheimer’s and Other Dementias, which I’m fortunate to be a part of, to the best-selling novel Still Alice (and subsequent film adaption) and independent projects like Wine, Women, and Dementia, the experience of living with dementia is no longer invisible. We still have a long ways to go in supporting dementia caregivers as a government and society, but the first step is to be seen and heard. Every artistic project that keeps dementia care in the spotlight is valuable.

That spirit also powers The Memories Project blog and my personal essay collection, The Reluctant Caregiver.

To learn more about “Memory Generation” and watch the interview with the show’s creators, visit Being Patient.

Older adults chatting over coffee inside Memory Grove Café
I love the concept of memory cafes, and wish more communities supported them.

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July 6, 2026 · 8:00 am

Marking Mom’s birthday

Today would have been Mom’s 89th birthday. As much as we were polar opposites in personality, I do find as I age that I’ve picked up some of her habits.

I’ve also been thinking of Mom recently because of a new project that I’ve been working on, Caregiver Vent. I’ve created a quiz-based resource for caregivers looking to earn a bit of extra money by taking surveys and sharing their opinion on caregiving and a variety of other topics. I’ve been doing surveys for the past several months and I was surprised at how often caregiver topics come up. No one knows better than caregivers that there’s a lot of room for improvement and caregivers have the personal experience needed to make a difference.

Mom loved giving her opinions about products and services. She didn’t wait for a survey; she was proactive and called. And when there was not a consumer feedback phone number readily available on the package, she’d call me to track it down on the internet. Over the years she gave feedback on everything from coffee canister lids to juice products. Companies would send her coupons and even branded items for her valuable feedback. It helped the companies but helped my mother as well; it made her feel useful and talking to customer service representatives eased her loneliness.

Finally, Mom loved a good deal. She had coupons for everything! So I have to share that I’m participating in the Smashwords July Summer/Winter sale. Get my books, including the award-winning The Reluctant Caregiver, for half-off the normal price. The sale runs all month long.

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June 14, 2026 · 10:00 am

Caregiver guilt can be a motivating force

I came across a documentary series by Peter Murphy Lewis who was recently profiled on Being Patient. He candidly admits to “making a documentary out of guilt.” He was in another country working when his beloved grandfather, who had dementia, died.

From his grief and guilt came the idea for a documentary series, “People Worth Caring About.”


“We treat the buildings where our elders live as places of “sadness,” which inadvertently devalues the people who work there. It turns a noble calling into an invisible job,” Lewis said. His goal with the project is to shine a light on those workers who care for our elder loved ones.

My own family caregiving experience followed a similar road. I was in another state, working, when my father died from Alzheimer’s complications. I too remember getting that dreaded call while on the job. I also experienced a deep amount of guilt that I was mostly a long-distance caregiver. And similar to Lewis, that guilt inspired the birth of a creative project about caregiving. In my case, it’s the blog that you are reading right now, The Memories Project.

If you find yourself weighed down by guilt after the loss of a loved one, consider ways you can honor your loved one’s memory with your own unique skillset. It doesn’t have to be a public project. I know of people who have created a memorial garden in their backyard. It could also be a conscious lifestyle choice: to spend more quality time with family, to travel more, to take up a new hobby or reconnect with an old friend.

Everyone moves through the grief process in their own way. For some, embarking on such a project can bring some meaning and closure to one of the most difficult events a person can experience.

Image generated by Google Gemini.

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June 7, 2026 · 2:56 pm

A reminder about the high cost of Alzheimer’s care

Paying for Managed Care

I write a lot about the high cost of Alzheimer’s care, because I feel it’s vital that society understands just how expensive such specialized care is and how little government support there is to help middle-class families pay for it. I’m sharing this post from Mary K. Doyle who writes about her husband’s Alzheimer’s experience and outlines the costs involved whether one tries to care for their loved one at home or places them in a memory care facility.

As Doyle suggests, the best time to plan for such medical decisions is early in the Alzheimer’s journey. I wrote in The Reluctant Caregiver about the consequences of my parents not being prepared after my father experienced a medical emergency and could not be returned home due to his advanced Alzheimer’s disease. These are tough conversations to have, but being able to make such decisions while your loved one still is able to contribute their wishes is a true gift, and will give you some peace of mind as you navigate care options later down the road.

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April 25, 2026 · 2:39 pm

Alzheimer’s Disease Facts and Figures 2026

The Alzheimer’s Association recently released their annual “Facts and Figures” report. It’s always a sobering collection of data, but important to document and share to increase Alzheimer’s awareness and to ensure the disease remains a high priority for funding research and care support initiatives.

Here’s a roundup of the top Alzheimer’s insights from the report:

  • More than 7 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s.
  • 1 in 3 older adults dies with Alzheimer’s or another dementia.
  • Approximately 1 in 9 people age 65 or older has Alzheimer’s.
  • Women account for 2/3 of Alzheimer’s cases in America.
  • Race plays a role in Alzheimer’s risk, with Black Americans (twice as likely) and Hispanic Americans (1.5 times as likely) to develop the disease vs White Americans.
  • Those with Alzheimer’s or other dementias have twice as many hospital stays and more skilled nursing facility stays and home health care visits per year than other older people.
  • The lifetime cost of care for a person living with dementia is estimated at a whopping $405,262 (in 2024 dollars.) What’s worse is that 70 percent of those costs are borne by family caregivers.

The report also highlights the growing contributions of family caregivers.

  • Nearly 13 million Americans provide unpaid care for people with Alzheimer’s or other dementias.
  • About 30% of caregivers are age 65 or older.
  • Most caregivers (66%) live with the person with dementia in the community.
  • Approximately 25% of dementia caregivers are “sandwich generation” caregivers, juggling the care demands of an aging parent and at least one child.
  • Caregivers are stressed out: Nearly 60 percent of dementia caregivers report feeling high to very high emotional stress.
  • Unpaid caregivers provided more than 19 billion hours of care valued at more than $446 billion.
  • Forty-one percent of caregivers have a household income of $50,000 or less.

Below is a video synopsis of the report’s most important findings.

Based on the Alzheimer’s Association report and resources, I used NotebookLM to create an infographic of ways to protect the brain, which appears at the top of this blog post. This year’s report found that Americans have a deep interest in brain health and understand that lifestyle choices can have an impact but are unclear about how to implement them in their own lives. The good news is that supporting brain health isn’t that complex: moderate exercise, decent diet, managing stress, good sleep quality, engaging in brain-friendly hobbies like puzzles, learning new languages, or playing a musical instrument. The tough part is being consistent in implementing these healthy lifestyle choices. Every positive choice helps, so consult with your doctor to see which lifestyle change may be most beneficial for you.

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March 29, 2026 · 9:00 am

AARP report: Family caregivers’ economic value reaches $1 trillion

Houser, Ari, Selena Caldera, Brendan Flinn, and Rita Choula. Valuing the Invaluable 2026: Family Caregivers’ Contribution Reaches $1 Trillion. Washington, DC: AARP Public Policy Institute, March 26, 2026. https://doi.org/10.26419/ppi.00402.001.

The latest caregiver report has been released by the AARP Public Policy Institute. Titled “Valuing the Invaluable 2026” the report, researchers found that the economic value of family caregiving in 2024 was worth a whopping $1 trillion.

In comments on the report, AARP CEO Dr. Myechia Minter-Jordan said, “When you look at caregiving at this scale, it becomes clear that this is not just a personal responsibility; it is a foundational part of our economy and our care system, and it is time we start recognizing it that way.”

Here are other main takeaways:

  • The $1.01 trillion amount breaks down to 49.5 billion hours devoted to family caregiving, equaling a workforce of 23.8 million full-time workers.
  • An estimated 59 million family caregivers helped an adult family member, neighbor, or friend with daily activities during the year, with 63 percent providing monthly care.
  • The economic value of family caregiving exceeded the total amount of federal, state, and local Medicaid spending in 2024 ($932 billion).
  • The cost and value of family caregiving has grown rapidly since the AARP’s first caregiving report in 2006, where the economic value of caregiving was found to be $350 billion.
  • Family caregivers now average 27 hours of care per week. This is on top of a part- or full-time job, plus for sandwich caregivers, caring for children and elder relatives at the same time.
  • More than half (55 percent) of family caregivers perform tasks typically handled by health care professionals, such as giving injections or managing a catheter. As a caregiver for my mother, I was required to care for her colostomy and after much trial and error, learned to manage her colostomy bag quite well. As I wrote in The Reluctant Caregiver, this task was well outside of my skillset and comfort zone, but as the sole family caregiver, I had no choice but to step up and take charge.

In conclusion, AARP noted: “This unpaid care generates significant public benefit, including savings for taxpayers, yet it often does so at considerable cost to caregivers’ own health, well‑being, and long‑term economic security.”

Access the full report: Valuing the Invaluable 2026: Family Caregivers’ Contribution Reaches $1 Trillion

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