meals | The Memories Project

Thanksgiving was one of my family’s favorite holidays. My father loved the food and my mother enjoyed preparing our small family’s meal. If you are hosting or attending a Thanksgiving dinner with a loved one with dementia, it’s important to consider such an occasion from the perspective of someone with cognitive challenges. By planning ahead, remaining flexible, and adjusting your expectations, you increase the chances of everyone having a good time.

Here are important aspects to consider:

Group setting: How many people will be attending the gathering? Is your loved one with dementia comfortable with large groups or do they become easily overwhelmed? What about children or pets? Some people with dementia light up and become more engaged in the presence of children and pets, others may find their energy overwhelming or irritating.

Sitting at a large table can make it difficult for those with dementia to keep up with multiple conversation streams. One solution could be to have multiple smaller table settings to encourage engagement and reduce distractions.

Dietary needs: Dementia can impact a person’s palate, so don’t be surprised or insulted if old favorites are not greeted with much enthusiasm. If dietary restrictions are a consideration, making a plate instead of self-serve may be the best option. Monitor alcohol intake, especially if your loved one takes medications that may interact with alcohol.

Those in the middle to latter stages of Alzheimer’s and other dementias may begin having problems managing cutlery. Consider cutting up food into bite-sized pieces for ease in eating.

One of the more sensitive and heartbreaking aspects of dementia is when someone who loved to cook loses the ability to safely navigate the kitchen and follow recipes. For those who still want to contribute to the Thanksgiving feast, find kitchen tasks that match their ability level. Remember that it’s about the family spending quality time together even more than the food.

Meal presentation: One thing in common with Thanksgiving dinner spreads is that the table is often loaded with multiple dishes. It can be difficult to know where to start even for someone without dementia! Consider using adaptive dinnerware designed for those with dementia.

If your family is hosting and your loved one is no longer able to cook safely, keep them involved by helping set the table.

Need for quiet time: Be prepared to give your loved one a space where they can decompress if necessary. If you are at someone else’s home, perhaps a guest bedroom or if the weather cooperates, a breath of fresh air on the porch could be ideal. Sometimes, a drive around the block may help re-set one’s mood, and worse case scenario, leaving a gathering early is always an option.

Remain flexible and accept that certain beloved family traditions may need to be revamped. After such a social event, make sure your loved one has plenty of time to rest and recover.

By taking these aspects of holiday meal planning into consideration, loved ones with dementia will continue to feel involved and appreciated. Even those who have diminished verbal skills can soak up the love in the room.

What we eat, and how we eat says a lot about who we are. If a loved one forgets to eat, add meals because they forgot they already ate, or start altering foods in strange ways, that may be a sign that it’s time to visit the doctor. In her recent blog post, Dr. Elaine Eshbaugh discusses common ways that dementia can alter a person’s dietary routine.

With my father, it meant he had an increased appetite, but sometimes forgot how to use utensils. Near the end of his life, he forgot how to swallow, which is a more complex action than people are aware of.

We eat to live. But food is more than fuel. Food has strong ties to family rituals, celebrations, and emotions. Food is love. I’m thinking of a time, over 15 years ago, when my long-term boyfriend dumped me like a bad habit. Food started arriving in the mail. My mom send Red Vines licorice. My […]

via Dementia and Dinner — When Dementia Knocks