Monthly Archives: February 2018

A gun on the farm

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Pixabay

With gun rights and gun control being the hot topics of discussion after yet another mass shooting, it reminded me of a story from my mother’s childhood that fortunately did not end in tragedy.

My mother was raised on a farm, and it was not unusual for farm families to own a gun. Typically a rifle or shotgun was kept, sometimes to put down sick animals, or to kill rabid animals or scare off a bobcat. Hunting also was a popular pastime and source of food for the family. While human prowlers weren’t as much of a threat back then, in a remote farmland area, you best be prepared to defend your family. Having a gun was a practical decision in my mother’s family.

One night when my mother was a young girl, she must have gotten up in the middle of the night, or perhaps was sleepwalking, and ended up in a rocking chair in the living room. Family members heard a noise and the gun was retrieved as a precaution. When my mother was discovered, everyone heaved a sigh of relief and had a good chuckle the next morning.

My mother told me that my grandmother was not as amused, as having weapons in the house made her nervous. She worried about what could’ve happened to “little Janie” if my mother had been mistaken for an intruder. But as the matriarch of a large farming family, she understood the purpose for such a weapon and reluctantly accepted its presence in the home.

I’m just as grateful as my grandmother that the story had a happy ending.

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How can we prevent deadly encounters between those with dementia and law enforcement?

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Pixabay

As the nation grapples with another school shooting by another person with mental illness, I can’t help but think about those with dementia who exhibit violent behavior.

It’s not something a lot of people want to think about or discuss. But the truth is that those with Alzheimer’s and other dementias can become violent. My own father became physically violent towards my mother as he sank into the middle stages of Alzheimer’s.

I can only imagine what would have transpired if my mother had called the police the night that my father struck her in the jaw. His flashes of anger and paranoia were at the peak at this time. I can see him lashing out at authority. I can see him ending up like Stanley Downen.

Downen was 77 and was in the latter stages of Alzheimer’s, Reuters reported. Police were called to the nursing home he resided at because of a wandering resident. Downen had slipped outside of the facility’s gate, and staff members were trying to encourage him back in.

Downen, a former iron worker who had served in the Navy, was angry and cursing.  He said he wanted to go home. He grabbed rocks from the ground, and threatened to throw them. As the officers approached, one was concerned enough about the threat that he decided to use his Taser on Downen. The older man went down quickly,  his head striking the pavement. He was taken to the hospital and never left. He died three weeks later.

There have been warnings about using Tasers and similar products on the elder population, as they are associated with a higher risk of injury and death, but the officer involved in this case claimed he never heard about the warnings. A lawsuit filed by family against the city and state was settled in the family’s favor.

It’s situations like these that are so difficult to manage. Mental illness by its vary nature is unpredictable and can unleash violent behavior. How do we show compassion for those with mental illness while protecting innocent lives? At what point is force necessary? And perhaps most importantly, how do we prevent these situations from occurring?

In the case of Mr. Downen, better security protocols and perhaps more staffing could have prevented his escape from the nursing home. Better training and established protocols could have determined a different course of action once the police were involved.

One thing seems clear to me: whether you are 18 or 80, we have to figure out a better was to manage mental illness in this country. We either bury our heads in the sand in denial or we overmedicate people into zombies. We need to open an honest dialogue on the subject and then take concrete actions based upon those discussions.

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The value of living in the present

Those of us who have dealt with Alzheimer’s in our families know just how particularly cruel this disease can be. Much of that has to do with the loss of the person, their personality and memories. They become a shell of the person they were and it can be difficult for family members to adjust. This thoughtful blog post below highlights the benefits of living in the present, as so many people with dementia do.

“Memories warm you up from the inside.” This was written in fancy cursive on the wall of a memory care community that had invited me to do a staff in-service. I’m not sure who decided this was a great quote to post on the wall in such a setting. I’d like to ask them about […]

via The Importance (Or Lack of Importance) of Memories in Dementialand — Welcome to Dementialand

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Lessons on life from dying children

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File image via Pixabay. (Not Dr. McAlpine.)

A Twitter thread by a pediatrician has been making the rounds lately, and for good reason. Dr. Alastair McAlpine asked some of his terminal pediatric palliative care patients what has mattered the most to them in life, and what has given their lives the most meaning. The children’s answers are both simple and profound, and something we adults should take to heart.

The things so many of us are hooked on, such as television or social media, did not make the kids’ important list. Family, pets, books and ice cream did rank high. These young souls whose lives will most likely be cut short barring a medical miracle shared a couple of values they found to be the most important. Kindness and a sense of humor made the list, not wealth or celebrity.

I encourage you to read the short thread on Twitter. At the end, Dr. McAlpine offers a takeaway for all of us.

We could all use a reminder to let go of negative thoughts and regrets and focus on the truly important people and things in our lives.

At the very least, we can commit to enjoying more ice cream.

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