Monthly Archives: October 2023

October 30, 2023 · 8:00 am

‘Depression tiredness’ and caregivers

As we prepare to enter another holiday season, it’s important to note if you are exhibiting signs of depression and fatigue. This social post from the Academy of Grief calls it “depression tiredness.”

I experienced much of this list while caring for my parents. I thought the “pretending to be okay” entry and being tired from faking a smile all day was particularly notable for caregivers. Instinctively people may project an outward image of strength, but inside, we may be feeling something quite different.

It’s also important to note the small things one can do when they experience these emotions. Of course, seeking professional care is vital, but “small glimmers” can help one get through a difficult day. I’ve actually used all of these at one time another to ground myself or lift my spirits.

What would be your small glimmers?

Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash

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October 23, 2023 · 8:00 am

Travel tips for caregivers

From my recent visit to Amsterdam.

I just got back from my first trip overseas since before the pandemic. Here are some observations I made that may be helpful for caregivers.

  • Verify that you and your loved ones have the required travel documents well before your international trip. Check the expiration date of your passport. If it is going to expire within 3-6 months of your trip dates, check to see if you’ll need to renew before your trip. Beginning in spring 2025, an additional authorization document will be required for US citizens traveling to Europe.
  • Mode of travel: If you are traveling overseas, you’ll probably be flying or taking a cruise. Trains are an option when traveling across Europe. There are pros and cons to each. It really depends upon the needs of those you care for and which mode of travel would be the most accommodating.
  • Medications and medical supplies: Make sure to clearly label medications to prevent issues during the security screening and if you have electronic medical supplies that require power, make sure to bring a country-specific outlet adaptor.
  • Accommodations: Make sure the accommodations you choose during your trip, whether a traditional hotel or an Airbnb, will be accessible for you and your loved ones.
  • Special diets: You can request special diet meals on flights. This can typically be done online, but check with your airline for more details. Bringing some favorite snacks can help put anxious loved ones more at ease. For those with a history of severe allergic reactions, bring an Epipen.
  • Public vs private transportation: Once you’ve arrived at your destination, if you plan on traveling in the region you’ll need to decide if public transportation is feasible or if would be more comfortable to hire a private care, if your budget allows. I dealt with significant rail issues during my recent trip which I was somewhat prepared for but do research how reliable public transit is in the area you will be visiting. Are you and your loved ones physically mobile? Keep in mind that walking is much more utilized as a form of personal transportation than in much of the US.
  • Be prepared for the unexpected: Travel delays, reservation issues, illness, etc. Try to include some flexibility in your travel schedule to allow for common travel issues.
  • If you or your loved one have a medical issue that you may need to seek care for while traveling, research care options near your destination. If you are visiting a country in which you can’t speak the language, do learn the phrases that could be of use to you in those situations.

Seeking more travel tips? Check out this guide from AARP and this Caregiver.com article that offers dementia caregivers specific trips on traveling safely with your loved ones.

Scenes from Amsterdam

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October 7, 2023 · 2:52 pm

Ageism Awareness Day

October 7 is Ageism Awareness Day. As caregivers, we see aging from a myriad of perspectives. While we no doubt see the physical and cognitive challenges that our loved ones contend with as they grow older, we also see the discrimination that older people, those who are disabled, and those with dementia face on a routine basis.

Ageism can be found in a variety of settings, from popular culture to the doctor’s office. According to the American Society on Aging, “Ageism is one of the most widespread and socially accepted form of
prejudice.”

Here are a few facts to know about ageism, courtesy of the American Society on Aging.

  • Ageism occurs in many forms, including Internalized, cultural, implicit and benevolent.
  • Older individuals with more positive self-perceptions of aging live 7.5 years longer than those with a less positive self perception of aging, according to one study.
  • Ageism in the workplace has many consequences. AARP estimated $850 billion in lost gains to the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) as a result of involuntary retirement underemployment, and unemployment among older workers.
  • In medicine, there is a shortage of geriatricians in the U.S. that will only worsen as the demand is set to skyrocket. Ageism can also be found in grant fund recipients for aging-related projects and clinical trial participants.

What can you do? Be vocal when you or your loved ones face ageism. Support efforts that seek to portray aging in a more realistic, less stereotypical manner. How can we as a society better support changing needs as we age?

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October 2, 2023 · 8:00 am

Don’t wait: Discuss end-of-life care wishes for those with dementia

The American Society on Aging, along with Compassion & Choices, hosted a webinar recently on honoring the end-of-life care wishes of those with dementia.

Also check out this interactive exhibit that discusses end of life care from a variety of individual perspectives.

This is an issue that I encourage everyone to consider, as my father’s end of life care was not what I wanted it to be. But without a roadmap (as is discussed in one of the videos above), my mother and I were forced to muddle through on our own. As I discussed in my book, The Reluctant Caregiver, my mother and I were at odds when it came to care options for my father as he neared the end of life. This is a common occurrence in families and can create regrets and guilt.

That’s why I suggest not waiting when it comes to discussing end-of-life care wishes after a dementia diagnosis. I also would like to point out that in the top video, honoring choices is the focus, but there are times when those wishes can’t be honored, for a variety of legitimate reasons. The ultimate goal is safety for your loved one and those caring for them.

Photo by Centre for Ageing Better on Unsplash.

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