While I knew my mother’s death would be difficult to process, one thing I secretly looked forward to was the idea that my life would settle down once I was off the caregiver roller coaster.
For several years, a phone call could turn my world upside down. I seem to remember a time when life was not so unpredictable. My early twenties was filled with some standard life changes, graduating college and moving to a big city to begin the working girl phase of life. Certainly there were ups and downs throughout the rest of my twenties and early thirties, but I had established a relatively drama-free domestic life.
I thought once Mom was at peace, I would be able to reestablish a comfortable routine in my life. I would have welcomed a period of boredom.
Maybe it’s just the demands of middle age, but the six months since Mom’s death have been anything but boring. There have been some good moments and some bad ones, but the one constant thing is change.
For example, this week a coworker of mine had to take emergency medical leave and I find myself working overnight shifts for the time being. I volunteered, finding myself not as resistant to change as in the past.
I still find myself getting stressed out by the potholes and roadblocks of life, but begrudgingly I have to admit that for the most part, while unwelcome changes can be temporarily annoying, life has a way of working itself out.
The bumps in the road may seem endless at the moment, but things will smooth out eventually.
If you wait for life to settle down, it may pass you by.