Monthly Archives: December 2020

December 31, 2020 · 5:50 pm

Wishing you peace in the new year

While many people, including myself, will be saying “good riddance” to 2020, we know that turning the page on a calendar will not make things magically better. Caregivers will still be overwhelmed by the COVID-19 pandemic, though vaccines are beginning to roll out. Sadly, it will not be soon enough for some, and more people will grieve the loss of a loved one due to coronavirus in 2021. Other terrible diseases, such as Alzheimer’s and cancer, will continue to take a toll. Our dedicated health care workers and other essential workers will continue to be overworked, underpaid and sacrificing their physical and mental wellbeing for the rest of us.

But there are glimmers of hope that 2021 won’t be as devastating as 2020. We’ve learned so much in this terrible year, and in 2021, we will get to apply those lessons in our lives. It is my hope that you and your loved ones can find some sense of peace in the new year as we work to make each day a bit brighter. It won’t be easy, but caregivers are tough and compassionate, and that is an amazing combination of qualities to have during difficult times.

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December 20, 2020 · 10:13 am

Remember those mourning amid holiday cheer

It’s the ninth anniversary of my father’s death, and that also means it is time for my annual PSA (public service announcement) about being gentle and non-judgmental with those who choose not to celebrate the holiday season because they’ve lost someone during this time of year.

The coronavirus pandemic that has claimed more than 300,000 lives in America will put a damper on this year’s festivities. But I also noticed the opposite effect, with neighbors putting their Christmas decorations up well before Thanksgiving. Both are natural reactions and we should respect the way individuals choose to cope.

This year as I reflect upon the anniversary of my father’s death, I remembered a detail I came across in a card he had attempted to write one of his sisters, but no longer had the cognitive function to address and mail. He had written in the card that he had been diagnosed with the swine flu. He had not received such a diagnosis, but the H1N1 pandemic was in the news at the time. Dad had latched on to that to explain what was happening to his body. That memory came back strong this year as the coronavirus pandemic unleashed its fury across the world.

Related to the pandemic and the need to wear masks, I also am reflecting on the fact that Dad would likely have been anti-mask. In 1986, when I was 12, wearing seat belts became mandatory when driving a vehicle in California. I remember many heated arguments in the car because of my father’s stubborn refusal to put on his seat belt. He claimed wearing the belt was constricting and made him feel like he was choking. Sound familiar this year? As an ill-advised compromise, Dad would drape the belt over his torso, but not latch it. Fortunately we never had any serious accidents. According to the Los Angeles Times, my father was part of the majority who at the time did not wear seat belts on a regular basis.

It has been the strangest and most challenging of years and the holiday season is no different. Connect with those you love however you can safely. Offer words of comfort and healing to the many who are grieving.

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December 11, 2020 · 5:00 pm

Holiday gift ideas for dementia caregivers

We could all use some good cheer and a thoughtful gesture after such a challenging year. It you are looking to get a gift for a dementia caregiver, here are a few ideas.

Self-care: Family caregivers are notoriously bad about taking care of their own needs, but caregiver burnout puts everyone at risk. Caregivers are often short on alone time, so take that into consideration when choosing gifts. A candle with a soothing scent, calming tea, music to lift the spirits, a book of daily inspirational posts —choose something that will allow a caregiver to enjoy a momentary respite even while they are isolating at home with their loved one. Take a look at my CBD gift guide for other self-care gift ideas.

Homemade gifts: Whether it’s a favorite dish, a knitted item, a phone call or a handwritten card, showing you care in your own special way makes for a thoughtful gift. Family caregivers, especially of those with dementia, often feel isolated as friends drift away, uncertain how to navigate cognitive impairment. Simply reaching out with a small token of affection is worth more than you can imagine.

Helping hand: If you are a handy person, consider offering your services to repair something in or around the caregiver’s home (of course taking precautions due to the pandemic.) Or consider a subscription to a meal delivery service, or a gift certificate for grocery delivery or delivery from their favorite restaurant. Anything that will ease the burden of maintaining the household will be appreciated.

Genealogy: Some people with dementia remember the past better than the present. A gift for a genealogy service or scrapbooking materials for those who are not digitally inclined can be a gift for both the dementia caregiver and the loved ones they care for. Capturing those family memories is priceless. Gathering old photos and assembling them while remembering family stories can be a wonderful bonding activity. I find both the online services and scrapbooking to be enjoyable. This is also a good project to do while housebound due to the pandemic and/or inclement weather.

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December 4, 2020 · 6:03 pm

The Link between Dementia and Mismanaged Finances — Dealing with Dementia

My father began to struggle with money issues years before other signs of dementia became apparent. He would argue with clerks because he thought they overcharged him and had trouble paying for items in cash, especially if change was involved. He began to carry a large wad of bills around and would dump large piles of coins on the bed in an attempt to “sort” them but there was no organization taking place. Your loved ones may have more subtle signs of financial issues due to cognitive decline, but it is important to monitor.

Read more below from Kay Bransford of Dealing with Dementia.

Eureka! What I recognized anecdotally for years is now published research that concluded financial symptoms of cognitive issues are surfacing up to six years before a formal clinical diagnosis. SIX YEARS. You are noticing changes in your own thinking, or you are seeing changes in a loved one that is concerning, but the primary care…

The Link between Dementia and Mismanaged Finances — Dealing with Dementia

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