Tag Archives: dementia

Planning for the Future With Elders Facing Alzheimer’s or Dementia

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Alzheimer’s and other dementias can creep into a family’s life until loved ones find themselves overwhelmed and unprepared for the severity of the disease. That’s why having a care plan is so crucial. The guest post from Mile High Estate Planning offers key areas that need to be addressed.

It can be difficult to face conversations with your loved ones after a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or dementia. However, interaction with others is important for helping them retain important social and cognitive skills. And, there are some conversations that will help you care for elders facing a dementia diagnosis.

To get you started, we have put together a few questions that can help get important conversations started. We have also included some tips for effectively communicating with people living with dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.

Planning for the Future

No matter how bleak that future may look, you still must plan for it. Consulting an attorney who specializes in Elder Law can help you decide what questions are most relevant to your family’s situation. Here are some general guidelines.

Have they completed all of the important and necessary legal documents? Talk to your loved ones about updating and finalizing wills, estates, and trusts.

Make sure that their finances are in order. This might be a good time to find out who should make financial decisions once the elder is no longer able to do it themselves. Talk to a financial planner about the best way to ensure your loved one’s wishes for their accounts are honored.

Ask what type and level of care the person wants to have as their disease progresses. Do they want to go into a nursing facility or stay at home? Is there anything that would signal whether treatments should continue or end?

Is there someone they would like to make decisions on their behalf if or when they are unable to? Be open to the idea that this person may not be you, and don’t belittle or second guess their decision.

Remembering A Life Well Lived

Now is the time to start a conversation about your loved one’s life. Ask questions to stimulate memories of special events, accomplishments, favorite places, anything they remember as important or special.

Fortunately, your conversations don’t have to focus only on the end of their life. The beginning and middle are important parts too, and should be remembered, discussed, and cherished as long as possible.

If your loved one keeps bringing up a particular hobby or interest from their past, make sure that is part of their future too. Keeping plants in the room can satisfy a love of gardening and a birdfeeder outside their window can attract wildlife for an animal or nature lover.

Keeping Lines of Communication Open

Unfortunately, dementia can make even basic communication difficult as it progresses. Your loved one may find it hard to come up with the right words or names for objects and people. Their logic may seem off, and conversations can start to flow in an unpredictable manner. Some people may revert to a native language from their younger days.

These are all normal effects of dementia and are nothing to be ashamed of. Since it is so important to keep people living with dementia and Alzheimer’s disease engaged, do not let these challenges dissuade you. Isolation can quickly lead to depression. Instead, follow these tips for successful communication.

Don’t assume you know what the person is capable of. Everyone will be affected by dementia in a different way. Instead, ask them what style or methods of communication are most comfortable for them. Maybe they prefer talking in person to phone calls.

Dementia slows response time, so don’t rush or force a conversation. Give the other person plenty of time to think about what you said and come up with a response on their own. This gives them the opportunity to share their thoughts, feelings, and ideas without interference.

As dementia progresses, your loved one will have more trouble coming up with words. Try asking simple questions that can be answered with a yes or no response. Visual cues or written notes can be very helpful in getting ideas across.

Since they will likely have trouble concentrating, try to eliminate background noise. Also, don’t overwhelm them; ask one question at a time so they can focus on what you are saying.

Unfortunately, as the disease progresses communication will become more and more difficult. By the later stages of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, it may be reduced to sounds or movements. Consider the feelings behind those gestures.

Focusing on What’s Important

Communication is a tool. Use it to understand what is important to your loved one as they face their diagnosis and adjust to living with the disease. Remember that there is no shame in having dementia and to always treat your loved ones with the dignity and respect they deserve.

 

Author Info

blake harris

Blake Harris is the Managing Attorney at Mile High Estate Planning where he assists clients with Wills and Trusts, Asset Protection, and Probate. Blake has extensive knowledge and experience helping families plan for and manage the transfer of their assets.

 

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4 Realistic Self-Care Strategies for Alzheimer’s Caregivers — The Diary of An Alzheimer’s Caregiver

It’s something we don’t talk enough about, but it is so important: self-care. I know that phrase has become a bit touchy in certain circles, because it can seem like you are dumping one more responsibility on an already overworked caregiver. The sad truth is that in most cases, no one is going to offer you a respite out of the blue. You have to know your limits as a caregiver, ask for help when needed and yes, take care and be kind to yourself.

Read these helpful self-care tips via the blog post below from The Diary of An Alzheimer’s Caregiver.

Sign up to get these posts and a whole lot more delivered right to your inbox! The Diary of An Alzheimer’s Caregiver – Appreciate the good, laugh at the crazy, and deal with the rest! Caregiving is hard no matter what. Alzheimer’s caregivers, however, have an especially difficult job. Not only do people with Alzheimer’s…

via 4 Realistic Self-Care Strategies for Alzheimer’s Caregivers — The Diary of An Alzheimer’s Caregiver

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August 23, 2019 · 5:27 pm

Moving video on ‘Leaving Alzheimer’s Behind’

 

Those who have faced Alzheimer’s or other dementias in their families know that it can be a dreadful roller coaster ride, and while in the early stages there may be quite a few “good” days, they often seem overshadowed by the “bad” days.

One man in the UK who has early-onset Alzheimer’s is hoping to send a different, more hopeful message. He is using his beloved hobby of cycling to spread the message across the country.

Peter Berry was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s at 50, after 3 long years of trying to obtain a diagnosis for his increasingly troubling symptoms. He sank into a deep depression for about a year, but when he emerged, he was determined to help others who find themselves in a similar situation. Through a video series and on social media, Berry shares his experience and what has worked for him, including a healthy diet, regular sleep and long bike rides.

While he’s under no illusion as to what Alzheimer’s ultimately holds in store, he stresses the importance of having a positive outlook: “People who suffer from the disease know the journey and path we’re taking. We all know the end product of this disease. But it’s all about what you do in between. It is not about what I can’t do, but what I can do.”

Watch his inspiring story, produced by Being Patient, and share with others.

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Protect elder loved ones from becoming phone scam victims

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The phone was my mother’s lifeline, but it also served as a source of strife in my role as a caregiver.

While most people have disdain for telemarketers, my mother welcomed the calls. This was especially true once my father was placed in a memory care center, and in the period after his death. My mother was lonely and a human voice on the other end of the line, even one trying to sell her something, was a source of comfort.

My mother never bought anything from the telemarketers, but there was one time in which I became livid because I felt she revealed too much personal information. She told the telemarketer about her lottery winnings. I wanted to reach through the phone and shake her (but gently as she had a broken shoulder from a fall.)

She could not understand why I was so upset, even after I tried to explain in multiple ways how revealing that you have a lump sum of money to a stranger who has your contact information is a bad idea. It was one of the few times I literally hung on up her out of frustration.

I wish my mother had the teleCalm service back then. It offers a host of senior-friendly options and features that are useful for caregivers. The Essentials service replaces the current home phone service of your elder loved one, replacing it with a monitored service that can filter out scam and telemarketer calls. An additional service provides caregivers with a smartphone app that includes monitoring features that can be accessed remotely.

For those with dementia and their caregivers, teleCalm could help ward off predators and scam artists who try to take advantage of those with impaired cognition. If you have used the service, I would love to hear your feedback.

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Do your part in the fight against Alzheimer’s by joining new registry

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As family caregivers to those with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia, we can feel helpless in the fact of such a brutal disease. What could we possibly do to help find a cure or effective treatment? While we know researchers are hard at work, they can seem far removed from the daily grind that a family finds themselves in when dealing with dementia.

Joining a registry is a simple way to contribute to the cause. I belong to the Alzheimer’s Prevention Registry. According to the registry, 80 percent of studies are delayed because too few people sign up to participate.  So you can really make a difference.

A new registry, the Synexus HealthyMinds Registry is seeking those 50 and older in the U.S. who do not have an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. The registry is free to join and all participation is done online for your convenience. Once a year, you will be asked to fill out a health and lifestyle questionnaire and take a series of online tests to gauge cognitive function. The registry I participate in is similar and I actually enjoy the tests because they are like brain games.

Check it out and if you are interested, please join and share with others. We are all in this important effort together.

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Remembering a friend and fighter for Alzheimer’s caregivers

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I was shocked and saddened to learn that Pamela Jo Van Ahn, executive director of Amy’s Place, died on June 15th.

If you’ve followed my blog for awhile, you’ve heard me talk about how much I loved Amy’s Place, serving those with Alzheimer’s and other dementias and their caregivers. It was such a welcoming, non-judgmental environment, and offered numerous cultural and education events each month.

I loved Pam’s passion and compassion. She was so giving of herself and fiercely devoted to helping caregivers. She was humble and reluctant to accept praise for her work. When she was nominated for a caregiver award earlier this year, she said in an email: “It is not easy for me to be recognized for something I did with a lot of support, help, and caring from others–like you…”

Pam was so supportive of my areas of caregiver advocacy. She introduced me as “the author” when I published my first book, The Reluctant Caregiver, and allowed me to test my care bag prototype that is an integral part of Respite Care Share with members of the Amy’s Place caregiver support group.  img_20170215_172858899

As I was reeling from the news of Pam’s death, I read a piece by a former colleague of mine who just lost his 20-year-old son to cancer. He ended his poignant essay by quoting another journalist, Mike Royko, who wrote after his wife’s death: “If there’s someone you love but haven’t said so in a while, say it now. Always, always say it now.”

We all need the sobering reminder to never take the people in our lives for granted. Never hesitate to call, email, or text your love or appreciation of them.

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AlzAuthors marks 4th anniversary with a book sale

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I am so proud to be part of the AlzAuthors group. I can’t believe the group of Alzheimer’s and dementia writers is marking its 4th anniversary! It has been so rewarding to see this group expand over the years and I applaud the hard work of the core founders who have shared our books to caregivers around the world.

If you haven’t visited the website in awhile, check out the redesign. I love it!

To mark the occasion, AlzAuthors is hosting a book sale and raffle. Choose from 19 free and discounted books. My award-winning collection of personal essays, The Reluctant Caregiver, is just 99 cents during the promotion, which runs through June 27th. (Note: Amazon is still processing the discounted rate as of Friday morning, but you can use this link to buy the book for 99 cents at other major digital book retailers right now.)

You can also enter a raffle to win free books from select AlzAuthors contributors.

Please spread the word to fellow dementia caregivers and thank you for your support!

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Toxic Positivity Mongers in Dementialand — The Blog That Currently Has No Name

Have to say I agree with this perspective wholeheartedly. As the author of The Reluctant Caregiver, I have empathy for those of us who often find it difficult to be Miss Mary Sunshine all of the time. Sometimes life just sucks. People mean well but the best gift you can offer in such situations is simply a sympathetic ear.

I was recently introduced to the term “toxic positivity.” I instantly knew what the term referred to, and I could relate. I see it on social media….Positive vibes only…Think happy thoughts…There’s always a silver lining…It’s a great day to have a great day. And I can remember times when I was struggling and someone shot […]

via Toxic Positivity Mongers in Dementialand — The Blog That Currently Has No Name

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May 30, 2019 · 8:36 pm

Marking National Nurses Week

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The week of May 6-May 12 is National Nurses Week. Caregivers of loved ones with chronic conditions resulting in frequent hospital stays get to know the profession and its members quite well.

Being a nurse means often seeing people at their worst: in pain, with mental confusion, combative or frightened. Nurses who treat those with dementia know an extra level of care and patience is required.

Nurses sometimes get labeled as superheroes but they are human, with their own families and struggles. But when they come into work, they attempt to put their own troubles aside to make someone else feel better. It’s a true act of giving.

I am grateful for the nurses who cared for my father and mother during their hospitalizations. One particular incident that stands out in my mind were the nurses at Presbyterian Hospital in Albuquerque. When they found out that it was my parents’ 40th wedding anniversary, they brought my mother a slice of cake while we were in the ICU room with my father who was in a medically-induced coma. Those busy nurses didn’t have to take the time to make that sweet gesture, but they did. I’m forever grateful.

If you know a nurse who has touched your family’s life in a positive way, reach out this week to let them know.

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‘What They Had’ will resonate with dementia caregivers

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I saw an excellent movie recently that I wanted to share with others who are or have been dementia caregivers. The movie is called, “What They Had,” and it has a great cast, starring Blythe Danner, Hilary Swank, Robert Forster and Michael Shannon. The film has a fairly simple plot: matriarch Ruth’s dementia is getting progressively worse, and the family is drawn together to figure out the next steps.

Those of us who have been dementia caregivers know what’s coming next, to a certain extent. The family’s internal dynamics are stretched to their breaking points as they each approach the “solution” to caring for the woman they love who is losing her mind and memories of them.

What is remarkable about the film is how realistically it depicts the challenges of a family grappling with Alzheimer’s. First-time director Elizabeth Chomko, whose grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, captures the raw and complex emotions perfectly. The movie is uncomfortable to watch in a good way, in that the plot, dialogue and acting is so realistic that you feel like you are eavesdropping into a family’s nightmare.

Watch the trailer:

I related quite a bit to the character of Nick, who is the son and brother. He’s the hands-on sibling, because he lives near the parents in Chicago, while Swank’s character Bridget is the sister who moved away to California. Nick has understandably built up some resentment and even though he comes across as pessimistic and critical, he cares deeply and understands the mother’s condition in a more realistic way than the rest of the family. I related so much to Nick’s frustration with the rest of the family who were overly optimistic or avoiding the tough decisions, as I dealt with that with my mother when making medical decisions for my father.

Bridget’s response to being thrown into a family crisis prompts her to question everything about her life, including her marriage. Danner plays the character of Ruth with heartbreaking tenderness, though there are moments of humor as well. And Forster, Ruth’s husband and primary caregiver, demonstrates a loving resilience underneath his gruff, practical exterior.

Both Danner and Swank have experienced real-life caregiving, which I think brought an extra layer of realism to their portrayals.

The film is available on video-on-demand services. (I watched it on Vudu.) It does contain a fair amount of profanity, but it seemed to be a natural fit for the characters’ personalities. If you’ve seen the movie, I’d love to know what you thought about it.

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