Tag Archives: elderly

November 23, 2025 · 4:01 pm

Gen X caught in an extended ‘sandwich generation squeeze’

Every generation has its challenges, but Generation X finds itself in an extended “sandwich generation” role, raising children and taking care of aging parents who are living longer than ever, but not without their share of health issues.

In the recent Generations issue by the American Society on Aging, an article by Grace Macalino Schauf describes her overwhelming caregiver situation and how she had a breakthrough that helped her better manage her many caregiving duties. Schauf found herself caring for her 80-something parents, including her mother with vascular dementia and helping her young adult sons navigate college while also filling the childcare gaps left by her sister-in-law’s sudden death.

Schauf explained that in her Filipino culture, the eldest daughter is expected to fulfill the caregiver role in the family, yet she realized that she was being stretched beyond capacity. The breakthrough came when she developed a “caregiver identity integration.” The framework created boundaries and required an identity reset, to fully integrate the caregiver role into her life instead of trying to manage fragments of her identity that left her frustrated and bitter.

I definitely understand the feelings of resentment that can surface in the family caregiver role. It’s one of the reasons why I wrote The Reluctant Caregiver. I also shared my Gen X caregiver experience on the Rodger That podcast. People shouldn’t feel guilty about such negative feelings, but for their own emotional health and to be a better caregiver, it’s important to address these feelings, reach out for support and develop a caregiving plan that works better for you, much like Schauf did. The process can be painful and messy, much like caregiving itself. But as Schauf said, being present, not perfect, is the goal. Being present as a daughter is something I wish I had done more of, versus being worried about every aspect of my caregiver role.

This holiday season is a great time to assess your family caregiver situation and determine if changes need to be made.

Illustration created by ChatGPT.

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October 5, 2025 · 8:35 am

Uber adds ‘senior accounts’ to support rides for older people

I’ve written many times on this blog about the importance of helping older people maintain their independence as long as possible. Transportation is one of the most critical elements for independence. Uber is adding a service that will allow families to coordinate rideshare services with their older family members. Previously, Uber launched Uber Caregiver as part of its Uber Health initiatives.

My parents were fortunate that even though they lived in a small mountain town, there was a county shuttle service that served low-income and older people. It was door to door service, meaning my parents could get to doctor’s appointments and the grocery store as well as go to the movie theatre and dine at a restaurant. However, the shuttle service was always on the county government chopping block, because of the cost and lack of profitability along with ignorance of some of the county officials. “Why can’t we just buy them all a car,” one particularly dense councilmember said during a meeting.

There are many reasons why older people stop driving. In my mother’s case, she never learned to drive, which is not uncommon for older women. In my father’s case, his dementia made driving dangerous. Other common medical conditions like vision issues can also lead to a loss of driving ability.

One of the main issues when people no longer have access to reliable transportation is isolation. Older people may be cut off from opportunities to socialize on a regular basis. Their ability to access healthy food may be limited. And those with a lack of transportation options may delay doctor’s appointments.

The Uber senior accounts have the following features:

  • A simplified app interface.
  • Family members can track trips and call drivers, as well as ride safety features.
  • The ability to add Medicare Advantage cards to pay for eligible medical trips.

There are other community-based programs that offer similar transportation services, but Uber’s service area has a much wider reach, meaning those who are not served by those smaller companies may be able to take advantage of this new feature.

Image created by Google Gemini.

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May 31, 2025 · 8:00 am

AI-powered phone call service offers virtual wellness checks for seniors

I came across a new service for seniors and their family caregivers that is getting ready to launch. I’ll admit it caught my eye because it has my name! Joy Calls is an AI-powered call service that performs virtual wellness checks.

A smart feature of the service is that even though Joy is an AI-powered persona, the high-tech is contained in a familiar package: a telephone call. No special equipment or training is required to use the service. Joy calls your loved one, checking in on things like medication, hydration, diet, and mood. Your loved one’s responses are summarized and provided to the caregiver.

The concept is designed not to replace family caregivers but virtually augment the monitoring of their loved ones, potentially extending their ability to age in place safely. A price hasn’t been set yet, but according to Onscreen, the company producing Joy Calls, the service is expected to cost in the range of $10-40 per month.

It’s an intriguing concept, and I will be interested in how well the service works and if it can meet the needs of seniors and family caregivers. I’m curious to see how the service handles sensitive information and if it can reduce the risk of AI hallucinations, otherwise the calls could go off the rails. And thinking of my mother, how will Joy handle a senior who is, to put it politely, verbose? Will she interrupt and try to get the call back on track? I felt helpless at times trying to keep my mother focused on the topic at hand, so I hope Joy Calls is up to the challenge.

Image created by ChatGPT.

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November 13, 2023 · 8:00 am

Understanding a caregiver’s ‘quiet rage’

The New York Times published an article recently that shines a light on an important caregiving topic that is close to my heart.

The Quiet Rage of Caregivers features the stories of caregivers who faced difficult caregiving experiences. One caregiver profiled is writer Ann Brenoff, who wrote “Caregivers Are Mad as Hell! Rants From the Wife of the Very Sick Man in Room 5029.” I consider her a kindred spirit, having written about my own challenging caregiving experiences in my personal essay collection, “The Reluctant Caregiver.”

While anger and frustration are normal emotions to feel as a caregiver, society doesn’t tend to support caregivers expressing negative emotions. Instead, caregivers are judged for being selfish and not loving the ones they care for enough. This is especially true for female caregivers, who are expected to sacrifice career and other pursuits to embrace a role that they have historically been expected to fulfill.

Jennifer Levin, who runs a Facebook support group for millennial caregivers, summed up the conflicting emotions of caregivers: “A lot of caregivers are afraid to express their anger, because they feel guilty.”

I definitely experienced that uncomfortable mix of emotions when caring for my parents. Exhaustion of juggling a full-time job with caregiving duties, resentment, guilt for feeling resentful, frustration at the lack of support … and then I was expected to show gratitude and spin the experience into a positive?

I am grateful for Brenoff and others like myself who are speaking out for those still in the caregiving trenches, who feel powerless and in despair of what seems like a hopeless situation. The best way we can support caregivers is by making sure they have the resources they need so that caregiving becomes a manageable situation, not one in which the person feels like they are drowning each and every day.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash.

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October 23, 2023 · 8:00 am

Travel tips for caregivers

From my recent visit to Amsterdam.

I just got back from my first trip overseas since before the pandemic. Here are some observations I made that may be helpful for caregivers.

  • Verify that you and your loved ones have the required travel documents well before your international trip. Check the expiration date of your passport. If it is going to expire within 3-6 months of your trip dates, check to see if you’ll need to renew before your trip. Beginning in spring 2025, an additional authorization document will be required for US citizens traveling to Europe.
  • Mode of travel: If you are traveling overseas, you’ll probably be flying or taking a cruise. Trains are an option when traveling across Europe. There are pros and cons to each. It really depends upon the needs of those you care for and which mode of travel would be the most accommodating.
  • Medications and medical supplies: Make sure to clearly label medications to prevent issues during the security screening and if you have electronic medical supplies that require power, make sure to bring a country-specific outlet adaptor.
  • Accommodations: Make sure the accommodations you choose during your trip, whether a traditional hotel or an Airbnb, will be accessible for you and your loved ones.
  • Special diets: You can request special diet meals on flights. This can typically be done online, but check with your airline for more details. Bringing some favorite snacks can help put anxious loved ones more at ease. For those with a history of severe allergic reactions, bring an Epipen.
  • Public vs private transportation: Once you’ve arrived at your destination, if you plan on traveling in the region you’ll need to decide if public transportation is feasible or if would be more comfortable to hire a private care, if your budget allows. I dealt with significant rail issues during my recent trip which I was somewhat prepared for but do research how reliable public transit is in the area you will be visiting. Are you and your loved ones physically mobile? Keep in mind that walking is much more utilized as a form of personal transportation than in much of the US.
  • Be prepared for the unexpected: Travel delays, reservation issues, illness, etc. Try to include some flexibility in your travel schedule to allow for common travel issues.
  • If you or your loved one have a medical issue that you may need to seek care for while traveling, research care options near your destination. If you are visiting a country in which you can’t speak the language, do learn the phrases that could be of use to you in those situations.

Seeking more travel tips? Check out this guide from AARP and this Caregiver.com article that offers dementia caregivers specific trips on traveling safely with your loved ones.

Scenes from Amsterdam

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November 7, 2022 · 8:00 am

National Family Caregivers Month: Caregiving Happens

November is National Family Caregivers Month. This year’s theme per the Caregiver Action Network is #CaregivingHappens.

One can become a family caregiver in the blink of an eye. As the #CaregivingHappens campaign illustrates, people can face a family care crisis at any moment. One can be going through a routine day, at work or running errands, and receive the call or text that requires one to switch into caregiver mode.

By raising awareness of how many people are family caregivers and how you may encounter them throughout your day, it helps to highlight the resources they need and where there are gaps in support systems. Family caregivers must not remain invisible or taken for granted.

Do you find yourself facing a family caregiving situation for the first time? Check out these 8 Rules for New Caregivers compiled by AARP.

Through Nov. 15, take advantage of the AlzAuthors Caregiver Appreciation Month Book Sale & Giveaway.

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October 1, 2022 · 2:18 pm

Sharing my experiences as a Gen X caregiver

I recently had the privilege of sharing my caregiving experience as member of Generation X on the Rodger That podcast.

Every generation faces its own unique challenges when it comes to the family caregiving experience. It’s difficult no matter what age you are! My parents were older when they had me so I faced caregiving duties a bit younger than most in my generation. Women especially are vulnerable to being forced to leave the workforce to provide family care, which has a ripple effect not only on one’s current financial situation, but also for retirement savings. This is what I now have to contend with as I’m way behind in saving for retirement, while also facing a risk that the government will not continue to fund Social Security at its current levels by the time I reach eligibility. Gen Xers on the older end of the spectrum are also reaching an age where we will face more age discrimination in the workplace. So the ability to make up lost financial ground becomes even more of a challenge.

Listen to Rodger That on Apple Podcasts

Millennials and Gen Z members also can find themselves facing an unexpected family care crisis that requires them to derail their life plans just as they are becoming independent young professionals. Long-term caregiving situations can cause one to postpone having children or making career changes. The pandemic has thrown a wrench into just about everyone’s life, with even more people taking on caregiving responsibilities with little to no experience.

There are also positive takeaways, as some members of younger generations are embracing aging issues. From intergenerational roommate services to apps and services being developed by younger people to help improve the quality of life of our elders, there is hope that our youth will continue to embrace these noble goals as they age. It indeed takes a village.

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September 4, 2022 · 9:00 am

Suicide risk among older adults deserves more attention

While younger generations seem to be more open about discussing mental health issues and suicide, there doesn’t seem to be the same level of openness among older generations. According to the CDC, people aged 85 years and older have the highest rates of suicide. Middle-aged and older white men also are at increased risk of suicide.

For caregivers, suicide risk awareness not only applies to those one cares for but for the caregiver themselves. Older adults and their caregivers may be dealing with debilitating physical and mental health issues, which may cause them to also be socially isolated and lonely. As this report from Next Avenue points out, depression is not a normal part of aging. But older adults may be experiencing grief over the loss of loved ones, or worrying about financial issues or their own health problems. Loss of independence and cognitive decline can also factor into an increased risk for suicide among older adults.

Caregivers may suffer burnout while trying to care for older loved ones and raising their own families. Recent studies suggest that burnout can cause changes in the brain. Stress is linked to an increased risk of a variety of health issues. The report from Next Avenue includes a list of common depression symptoms.

This week is National Suicide Prevention Week. Below are some resources that you can use if you are in need of help or are trying to help someone else who is experiencing a crisis. I took some suicide prevention courses earlier this year and one of the main takeaways I learned was how important it was to be direct if you feel a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts. One should ask, “Are you thinking about suicide?” or a similar direct phrase. Being this direct can be challenging in certain cultures but with someone’s life potentially on the line, one needs to push through any social awkwardness.

The new national suicide prevention hotline number is 988.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention offers resources and information on local community chapters.

The National Council for Mental Wellbeing offers a variety of resources including Mental Health First Aid training.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness offers this video with tips for caregivers.

Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash.

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July 11, 2022 · 8:00 am

Joe & Bella launch CareZips Classic, an innovative adaptive clothing line

CareZips by Joe & Bella

Caregivers know that one of the more challenging daily tasks can be helping loved ones get dressed. Not only can it be a physical challenge for all involved, there is also the important elements of independence and dignity. For people with continence issues and those with dementia, it is essential that they have clothing that is easy to manage.

My mother struggled trying to aid my father in getting dressed and going to the bathroom in the early to middle stages of Alzheimer’s. He was often stubborn and didn’t want to accept help, which led to accidents and the dreaded clean-up. The only time my father was physically abusive was during one such moment, when she was trying to help him into his pajamas. He got frustrated and struck her in the jaw. I often think about others facing a similar situation each night, feeling alone and in need of help.

This is why I’m pleased to learn of the launch of CareZips Classic by Joe & Bella. This adaptive clothing line offers innovative zippers from the waist to the knees that easily open the entire pant up to make dressing, using the bathroom and cleaning up accidents easier on both the wearer and their caregiver.   Its design means one does not have to fully undress to perform routine tasks.

CareZips recently won the 2022 best-product award from Caregiver.com.

Enter code Gift10 to receive a $10 Joe & Bella gift certificate for each pair you purchase. For every purchase you make at www.JoeAndBella.com, a portion of the proceeds is donated to frontline caregivers. Joe & Bella has already supported more than 100 care communities through their “give-back” program.

Please share with the caregivers in your life!

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February 12, 2022 · 2:11 pm

Being less active during pandemic may have health consequences

The pandemic’s impact on health goes beyond those who contracted the coronavirus. Even those who managed to avoid the infection may have suffered consequences to their health, and in an area that many take for granted.

In December, I fell while walking my dog. I slipped going down a moderate slope in the park and landed straight on my rump. The fall knocked the wind out of me for a minute, but I was fortunate not to break or sprain anything. My back was very sore and remained so for about a week. I treated it using over-the-counter pain medication and homeopathic balms. My mobility was limited and I was forced to slow down and take it easy, but fortunately I fully recovered and don’t have any lingering issues.

I’m in my late 40s and in decent health. This was a minor fall, but it reminds me that as I get older, recovery from such incidents takes longer. We often take our mobility for granted, but the pandemic may have a lingering impact on our physical conditioning, making us more prone to falls. Studies suggest that some older adults have experienced a decrease in mobility during the pandemic, The New York Times reported.

Those who now work from home full-time may be moving less than when they went into the office, even if they drove to work. Pandemic restrictions may have shut parks, gyms, malls, and other outlets that older people used to exercise. Depression and anxiety can dampen the desire to exercise. Those who did contract COVID-19 may have battled lingering symptoms that made exercise difficult. And those who received benefits from physical and occupational therapy may have not been able to receive those services during the pandemic.

What geriatric health experts are concerned about is that decreased activity levels may result in worse physical functioning, which is key to older adults’ ability to live independently. A fall can lead to a lengthy recovery and trigger a fear of falling again, creating a vicious cycle with significant health consequences. The good news is that we can engage in simple activities that will help us reverse the impacts of our sedentary lifestyle and regain our mobility. Walking, yoga, and tai chi are all great ways to get moving and improve physical functioning.

Take inventory of your mobility and your elder loved ones and make an action plan if you desire to increase your mobility. Taking small steps now can make all the difference in keeping ourselves and our elder loved ones living independently.

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