long distance caregiving | The Memories Project

Tag Archives: long distance caregiving

March 27, 2020 · 3:32 pm

Guest post: How to Help Your Senior Loved One Stay Healthy from Afar

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I’ve been blessed recently to have two guest authors submit pieces to share on The Memories Project. Today’s post is written by Claire Wentz of Caring from Afar. It is an especially appropriate topic to discuss as we practice social distancing due to the coronavirus.

When you have a senior loved one who lives far away, it can be stressful to ensure they are well taken care of at all times. Travel may not always be feasible, especially if you work outside the home or have family obligations, and it can be expensive. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to ensure that your loved one is safe, healthy, and comfortable no matter how far away you are. Using technology to your advantage is always a good idea; here are some tips on how you can utilize it as well as some ideas on how to help the senior in your life stay safe and happy.

Take Advantage of Smartphones

Smartphones are a useful tool for seniors since they provide a way to contact friends and loved ones as well as a way to stream content and play games and puzzles via apps that will help keep their cognitive skills sharp. You can also download a location-tracking app to their phone so that you can locate your loved one in case of emergencies. If your loved one is unsure of how to use a smart device, look for a class near them (or online) that will help them learn the ins and outs of phones and tablets.

Help Them Invest in Smart Tech

These days, there are several different kinds of smart tech available for the home, and it’s a great way for seniors to be more independent and safe. From home security systems to voice-activated virtual assistants and smart appliances, there are so many ways seniors can utilize technology in their everyday lives and make it a seamless transition. Talk to your loved one about their specific needs, such as whether they could use a virtual assistant that will give them voice control over everything from making phone calls to turning on the oven.

Help Them Find a Hobby

Hobbies are wonderful things; not only do they help us stay happy and boost our mental health, but they can also affect our physical wellness. From playing a sport to woodworking and gardening, there are many different kinds of hobbies out there that are perfect for seniors of any age. So, talk to your loved one about their favorite things to do and help them find a group in their area to join or an online group where they can feel like they’re a part of something and remain social. If the hobby involves physical activity, all the better, as seniors need daily exercise in order to prevent many health issues and falls.

Talk to Their Neighbors

Whether your loved one owns their home or rents an apartment, it’s a good idea to talk to their neighbors and get to know them a little. Creating a rapport with the people closest to your loved one will help to give you peace of mind when you live far away, as they may be able to help out when you’re not there. Exchange information so you can stay in touch with one another, especially if your loved one lives alone or is aging in place.

Helping a loved one stay healthy and safe when you live far away can be challenging, but with the aid of technology and a few lifestyle changes, the senior in your life can ensure that they are safe and comfortable throughout the years.

Learn more caregiver tips at Caring from Afar.

Long-distance caregiving sucks

Mom has had a mysterious health setback, despite getting good results on all of her tests.

Trying to manage a health crisis from over a thousand miles away is beyond stressful. I know many of you understand.

Mom is tougher than she looks!

On Labor Day, Mom called me to tell me she was calling 911. The pain in her back was just too much for her to endure any longer. After several stressful hours, I called the hospital and they said they were sending her home, that she just had a lumbar sprain and constipation.

Frankly, I didn’t believe their diagnosis then and I still don’t. Mom continues to feel lousy, though her back is a bit better. Her digestive problems continue, and I fear there is something going on with the colostomy reversal.

The next step will be more invasive tests, like a colonoscopy (ugh, she just had one done in December) or an endoscopy.

These tests usually require someone to be present with the patient. So now I’m looking at a last-minute plane ticket close to $1000 and who knows if the test will get us any closer to a true diagnosis, when the other battery of tests didn’t show anything? By no means am I saying that spending the money isn’t worth it if I can help Mom get the treatment she needs. It is just another sober truth of caregiving from afar. It is costly, both in the financial and emotional sense.

I know patient advocates exist but in my mom’s area, they seem to work mainly in the hospital setting, answering questions and dealing with paperwork. I wish there was a service where I could hire a professionally trained caregiver to actually go with my mom to the hospital, and be there with her during tests and procedures. The advocate would ask pertinent questions and then be able to report back to me what is going on.

In an ideal world, I would be there with my mom in all of these situations. But we don’t live in a perfect world, and I know there are many other seniors living independently who do not have family members or relatives living close to them. With our rapidly aging population, I feel this will become an even greater issue.

Every time these situations arise, someone always asks, “Why don’t you just move your mom in with you?” or “Why don’t you move closer to your mother?” These people mean well, but these are huge, life-changing decisions to make, and frankly sometimes it is simply not feasible. That being said, feelings of guilt and doubt linger.

One thing I am immensely grateful for: my new job can be done completely remotely, and my boss has given his blessings that I can work wherever and however I need to if I need to go care for my mom.

If you’ve had experience with long-distance caregiving, what resources did you find most helpful?