Monthly Archives: June 2013

June 26, 2013 · 9:45 pm

A powerful play about dementia

On Monday, I was lucky enough to get a chance to attend a free reading of the play, “Absence” by Peter M. Floyd. It was presented at the Alliance Theatre, one of Atlanta’s most respected theatre companies. Before the reading, there was a senior care resource center where local companies were on hand to talk about their products.

The play itself is quite simple, yet powerful. A strong, vibrant woman develops dementia and the play illustrates the impact her diagnosis has on her and her family. Anyone who knows someone with dementia will be able to relate to the themes of the play: denial, anger, frustration, sadness, desperation.

There are a some moments of humor sprinkled throughout but overall the play is a sobering reminder of the impact dementia has on family relationships. I was intrigued by the personification of the disease in the form of a wise-cracking doctor with a northern accent. Throughout the play, he acts like a drug pusher trying to peddle heroin on an unsuspecting youngster, telling the lead character that Alzheimer’s wipes the slate clean, along with all of your regrets and mistakes, making you feel free. It’s an interesting perspective.

The lead character and her daughter reminded me of my own relationship with my mom. I would love to see the play fully produced, as I was really blown away by the reading alone.

If you get the chance to see this play, don’t hesitate but be prepared for it to hit close to home.

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June 21, 2013 · 10:12 am

Walking for Dad on The Longest Day

This year I actually have the opportunity to participate in the Alzheimer’s Association campaign, The Longest Day. Since this is the day it stays light the longest, today is the perfect opportunity to shine a light on Alzheimer’s awareness from dawn to dusk. Last year I was at work so I couldn’t fully participate, but I had no excuses this year!

Walking the Beltline in Atlanta for Dad on The Longest Day 2013.

Walking the Beltline in Atlanta for Dad on The Longest Day 2013.


People do all sorts of things to honor their loved ones for The Longest Day campaign. People hike, run, swim, ride a bike, just anything to get out there and spread awareness. I chose to walk because Dad loved to take long walks and I do too! I decided to walk the Beltline, which is an exciting project here in Atlanta that is repurposing the long abandoned railroad tracks that still exist around the city and converting them into a walk/run/cycling trail that links up many intown neighborhoods. I was skeptical about the project at first I have to admit, but now that I have experienced one of the first phases of the project, I feel like it’s coming along nicely.

Piper the Beltline Kitty came out to greet me on my walk for Dad!

Piper the Beltline Kitty came out to greet me on my walk for Dad!

Today I walked the Eastside Trail from Piedmont Park in Midtown to Inman Park. Driving that route is almost a five mile trek. But thanks to the Beltline, you can walk there in half that distance. I made it to my destination in about an hour and am writing up this blog post at a neighborhood coffee shop. I’m going to keep spreading Alzheimer’s awareness throughout the day by staying active on social media and doing more walking!

I would love to hear how others are honoring their loved ones and spreading Alzheimer’s Awareness on The Longest Day. To follow the action on Twitter, use the hashtag #thelongestday.

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June 16, 2013 · 1:46 pm

Remembering what is important on Father’s Day

For those of us who have lost a father due to Alzheimer’s complications or who are watching their dad battle the disease right now, Father’s Day is a holiday with mixed emotions. But while the damage Alzheimer’s inflicts on families should never be forgotten, this is also a good day to reflect on the positives of your relationship with your dad. After all, you might not be feeling such pain or loss if you did not value him and love him deeply as a father to begin with. For some people being estranged from their father makes this holiday a very painful experience as well.

For me, the realization that I did deeply love my dad and didn’t have this distant, indifferent relationship I always imagined came after Dad began losing his mind. That is unfortunate, but I know right before he started to change, I was able to tell him how I know it was difficult dealing with Mom sometimes and to just try to hang in there. In fact, one of the last things I remember him saying to me on my last visit before he became ill was, “Your mother is driving me crazy!”

dad-joy-sm

I can still hear his hoarse, smoker’s voice making that half-joking, half-serious accusation. (My parents drove each other a little crazy, but they were devoted to one another.)

I could beat myself up today for not being there more often for my dad when he began the sad, slow slide into dementia. But at least I did get to hold his hand and tell him how much I loved him in the last couple of months of his life. And he was even aware and able to respond at one point: “I know you do.”

Actions of the past can’t be changed so as caregivers and family members we should stop being so hard on ourselves. Take today to remind yourself of the more pleasant times and let them bring joy to you even now as you mourn or suffer.

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June 11, 2013 · 9:22 pm

Tracing Dad to The Bronx

So on my continued quest to follow Dad’s early years in America, I present another one of Dad’s former NYC residences. Next stop: 1650 Topping Avenue in The Bronx.

Building in The Bronx where my father once lived. Image: Google Maps.

Building in The Bronx where my father once lived. Image: Google Maps.

The building looks to be in decent shape, though from what I gather, the neighborhood isn’t the best. The Bronx Historical Society offers interesting perspectives from former Bronx residents who lived in the neighborhood around the time my Dad resided there. Historic Claremont Park is just steps away and is one of the neighborhood’s oldest greenspaces. I found a blog post from a doctor who talks about playing punch ball as a kid in Claremont Park from 1948-1953, just a few years before Dad lived in the area.

I’m enjoying my virtual tracing of Dad’s life in this country. I love history so learning more about such iconic areas of the U.S. is a treat.

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June 5, 2013 · 8:17 pm

Dementia patients may try to mirror emotions

I read about an interesting study today that found those in the early stages of Alzheimer’s may try to mimic the emotions of those around them. The results suggest that it is in the best interest of caregivers and family members to try to maintain a calm and positive demeanor in the presence of those with dementia. I know, easier said than done, right! Still, it is interesting to wonder if the emotional disturbances and changes are a result of Alzheimer’s patients becoming more sensitive to the emotions of those around them. And anyone who has dealt with someone with Alzheimer’s knows that there is a great deal of anxiety, frustration and sadness, especially early on before proper coping mechanisms are developed. The condition has a name: emotional contagion.

A new study finds that dementia patients may mirror the emotions of those around them.

A new study finds that dementia patients may mirror the emotions of those around them.

I’m not sure I witnessed my dad mimic other’s behavior but I did notice his excessive attempts at “fitting in” or being part of a conversation or situation. He would try to make a relevant comment but I could tell by his eyes that he had no clue what Mom and I were discussing. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, this stage of the disease is actually more heartbreaking to me than later on, when many patients “disappear” emotionally. Once Dad entered the nursing home, he was heavily medicated as most dementia patients are, which tends to turn one into a zombie. I struggled more with Dad trying to be upbeat and tell jokes even while he was clearly losing his mind than the sullen, withdrawn shell of a person he became in the nursing home.

Whether the person with dementia mirrors the emotions of others are not, it of course is best for everyone if a calm and stable atmosphere is maintained. That’s not to say you should beat yourself up if you show exasperation in front of your loved one with dementia. It happens, we’re human. But even while dementia strips away abilities and memories, it may magnify sensitivity in other areas that before we have ignored.

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June 2, 2013 · 8:00 pm

Live and Let Die

Assisted suicide is a controversial topic and when discussing it from a dementia perspective, the issue becomes even more complex, both legally and morally. I appreciate Living with Dementia opening the discussion on their blog.

Wanderer's avatarLiving with Dementia

The subject of this post may not be suitable for some readers, and could be hard reading. It is regarding assisted suicide so please do not read if you feel it may make you uncomfortable. I however have decided to write about this tricky subject in the best way I can as I do think we should talk about it, it’s implications and whether for some, it may be the best way.

This was a post I wanted to write some time ago after reading a news article about Melvyn Bragg. For those of you who have not read it Melvyn had watched his mother struggle with dementia up until her death.

This prompted him to insist on the right for assisted suicide (for those with dementia). The article also calls on Sir Terry Pratchett, who was diagnosed with dementia when he was 57. He also agrees that assisted suicide…

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