Monthly Archives: August 2017

August 29, 2017 · 8:00 am

Coping with the difficult emotions of caregiving

love-1471183-639x380

Photo by John Meyer/Freeimages

Caregiving is a tough task, both physically and emotionally. There are many emotions that can arise while one is a caregiver, and many are not pleasant. However, it is important to recognize, acknowledge and process these feelings. Caring.com offers an excellent article, The 7 Deadly Emotions of Caregiving: How to Cope.

The 7 emotions the article focuses on includes:

  • Guilt
  • Resentment
  • Anger
  • Worry
  • Loneliness
  • Grief
  • Defensiveness

The article explains how these emotions arise while caregiving, the risks that come with these feelings and most importantly, what you can do about it. Many caregivers will find the above list familiar; some of us will experience one emotion more than another. For my mother, it was loneliness and worry; for me, it was worry, guilt and resentment.

I think it is important as caregivers to acknowledge what we feel, and equally as important to figure out how to best process these emotions so we don’t damage our own physical and mental well-being.

What caregiving emotions do you feel most consumed by, and how do you cope?

7 Comments

Filed under Awareness & Activism

Tagged as , , ,

August 22, 2017 · 8:10 am

Finally, justice served for sexually abused nursing home residents

Embed from Getty Images

I’ll be the first to champion for caregivers, but I’ll also be just as determined to defend those who are assaulted by abusive caregivers.

Back in February, I wrote a post about a CNN special investigation, which uncovered an epidemic of sexual assaults taking place in America’s nursing homes. In most cases, due to the victim often being cognitively impaired or too physically frail to testify, the accused were never convicted of their alleged crimes.

Now, one of those caregivers, Luis Gomez, has been convicted on multiple counts of rape, and sentenced to at least 23 years in prison.

For the record, Gomez maintains his innocence. But the testimony of two nursing home residents, one who came to court with two oxygen tanks, and described the sexual assaults that Gomez inflicted upon them, was enough to convict the man who had long been accused of such crimes but had avoided prosecution.

Not only were the two victims who testified in court heroes, so was a nurse, who, against orders from her boss, decided to call police about the assault accusations. That prompted an investigation which led to charges and eventually a conviction. Krista Shalda was fired her nursing job at the facility where the assaults took place after she called police. She told CNN that she will likely be blacklisted from working in nursing homes, because they don’t like whistleblowers.

While it is a relief to know that one sexual predator has been removed from preying upon helpless patients, we know from CNN’s investigation that there are many more like him still working in nursing home facilities. I can only hope that Gomez’s conviction and the hefty fine that the nursing home paid will make other facilities take note. Stricter background checks needs to be implemented, and all patient complaints about staff members should be investigated rigorously.

Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness & Activism

Tagged as , , ,

August 15, 2017 · 8:26 am

Capturing the power of music in the midst of Alzheimer’s

piano-keys-1514137-640x480

Photo by Jean-Pierre Ceppo/Freeimages

I read a beautiful, poignant story earlier this month about a man with Alzheimer’s who is losing the ability to play the songs he wrote for his wife. These were songs he knew by heart, so he never wrote them down. No one expects a disease like Alzheimer’s to claim what is most precious and sacred to you.

Steve Goodwin, 67, became frustrated when he was unable to play his compositions. That’s when in walked an angel named Naomi Laviolette, a family friend. She plays the piano and asked if Goodwin could help her reconstruct his compositions. She’s recording them note for note so that Goodwin’s musical legacy will be preserved forever.

Goodwin’s wife, Joni, was moved to tears when she heard Laviolette play her husband’s music that she feared was lost. The pair have been married 47 years. She told CBS, “”Losing the songs would be like losing him.”

Goodwin even managed to write a new song, with Laviolette’s help.

1 Comment

Filed under Awareness & Activism

Tagged as , ,

August 8, 2017 · 10:15 pm

Glen Campbell leaves behind more than a musical legacy

Embed from Getty Images

I was saddened to hear about the death of country music legend Glen Campbell, though he is now free from Alzheimer’s harrowing grip. It’s a huge loss in the music world, where Campbell was much more than just the “Rhinestone Cowboy,” he was an amazing session musician who could play a variety of instruments and his guitar work was phenomenal. He recorded some of the most influential songs of our time, and made them his own.

If you want to see Campbell performing all of his hits with a symphony, check out this YouTube video. He’s in great form here.

Of course, there was the man behind the music who struggled with a dark side that hid under his good guy public image. As Campbell hit middle-age, he became tabloid fodder, with multiple rocky marriages, kids he hardly knew and a bad cocaine and alcohol habit. He eventually got cleaned up and settled down with Kim Campbell, who would be tested when it came to the marriage vows of “in sickness and in health.”

Campbell and his family were very open with the public about his Alzheimer’s diagnosis. It was a brave decision, and if you watch the moving documentary concert film, “I’ll Be Me,” you’ll see the triumphs and challenges that presented itself as Campbell performed with Alzheimer’s on his final tour. His bravery, and his family’s openness, helped renew the dialogue on Alzheimer’s disease, raising public awareness. In turn, that interest helps advocates demand more support for research, care options and caregiver support.

As Campbell dealt with the latter stages of Alzheimer’s, his family kept the public updated, sometimes sharing painfully honest accounts that any of us who have dealt with this heartbreaking disease can relate to. I had a feeling Campbell wouldn’t be around much longer when his daughter Ashley posted this heartbreaking photo on Father’s Day.  It reminded me of my father during the last months of his life, when Alzheimer’s had taken its toll.

Campbell’s family released an album of his final studio recording in June. The title, appropriately, is “Adios.” Farewell Glen, thanks for the memories.

Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness & Activism

Tagged as , , ,

August 1, 2017 · 7:00 am

Family’s gift to caregiver an inspiring way to pay it forward

writing-check-1239553-640x480

Photo by Marius Muresan/Freeimages.

There was a wonderful story posted on CNN recently, and it reinforces the fact that there are still good people doing good things in this world, even as they faced difficult circumstances in a world that seems increasingly unkind.

The Wright family in Georgia hired a caregiver, RonTunDe Hector, to provide home hospice care for Judy Wright, who had Parkinson’s disease. After positive feedback from his father, Chris Wright, Judy’s son, arranged to meet RonTunDe in person.

As it turned out, they already knew each other.

Hector had been going through a rough time a few years before, and ran out of gas on the highway. As she walked down the road with her gas can, a man pulled up and asked if he could help. She explained the situation and the man filled up her tank and gave her $40.

That man was Chris Wright.

Though the pair were reuniting once again in the midst of difficult circumstances, the bond was strong. Hector even accurately predicted the day Judy Wright died.

After Judy’s death, the family wanted to honor Hector’s compassionate care and help her continue growing in her profession. The family raised funds to send Hector to nursing school, a dream she had long had but was unable to afford.

The online campaign has now raised over $33,000, funding by over 800 donors. The Wright family’s generous act will now help countless other people who will be cared for by Hector.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness & Activism

Tagged as , ,