Monthly Archives: July 2020

July 31, 2020 · 4:16 pm

The Memories Project selected as a top Alzheimer’s blog

Best Alzheimer's and Dementia Blog Award, 2020 by eMediHealth

☆☆☆☆☆ By eMediHealth ☆☆☆☆☆

 

I’m pleased to announce that The Memories Project was included in eMediHealth’s Best Alzheimer’s and Dementia Blogs for 2020.

I recognize just about every blog that made this list, from the major organizations to the personal bloggers like myself.  I was happy to see Alzheimer’s Daughter by Jean Lee, one of the founders of AlzAuthors, included on the list. Likewise, Kay Bransford does great work on her blog, Dealing with Dementia, covering important financial issues for those with dementia and their caregivers. Also making the list are two other blogs I frequently read, including The Caregiver’s Voice by Brenda Avadian and The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver by Rena McDaniel.

As many of you know, The Memories Project began back in 2012 as a tribute to my father, who died of Alzheimer’s. Over the years, it has grown into an awareness and advocacy blog for Alzheimer’s and other dementias, as well as their caregivers. I also documented my journey as my mother’s caregiver, who had colon cancer.

While it’s nice to be acknowledged, the true reward I receive for blogging is connecting with family caregivers and being given the opportunity to advocate for those who provide care for their loved ones. I’ve also learned so much from other caregivers. The caregiving community is smart, tough and compassionate and I am honored to be a part of it.

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July 24, 2020 · 8:00 am

Adapting to a new normal

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John Hain/Pixabay

I recently was interviewed for a new caregiving project called Open Caregiving. The website serves as a collection for caregivers to share their experiences and offer advice to other caregivers. I was happy to participate.

If you would like to share your caregiving story, fill out this form.

One of the pieces of advice I offered that proved to be a key for me in thinking about my father’s dementia was to learn how to accept the “new normal.” While it is natural to lament what your life was like before, who your loved one with dementia was before the disease changed them, it is not helpful to be consumed with the past. Cherish those memories and try to focus on the present.

This was very hard for my mother and I to do as my father’s Alzheimer’s disease progressed further. My mother couldn’t help but correct all of the mistaken memories or gibberish that came out of my father’s mouth and I felt shame and embarrassment for my father’s state of mind. I knew how mortified he would be if he could see himself in that state of mental decline. I discuss this further in my book, The Reluctant Caregiver.

But what helped once my father was in the memory care center was simply to visit him and enjoy his company in that moment. If that meant getting him a cup of coffee or navigating him around the outdoor area for a stroll, then that was enough. I would no longer be able to discuss politics or sports with my father but I could still hold his hand and tell him I loved him.

I hope you are finding ways to adjust to the new normal as you wind your way through your own journey as a dementia caregiver.

 

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July 17, 2020 · 6:21 pm

New study on family caregiving yields suprising finding

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Pixabay

As a journalist, I am inundated with dozens of reports on new medical studies weekly. The number has only increased during the coronavirus pandemic. One caught my eye this week, because I saw outlets running cheery headlines that set off my BS detector.

One headline example: “Long thought to be damagingly stressful, family caregiving does no harm”

That is quite a proclamation! It is certainly news to the thousands of us who have been family caregivers and experienced mental, emotional, and physical side effects. As with most such overly optimistic headlines, I go to the originating source. In this case, it’s a Johns Hopkins study, Transition to Family Caregiving, which found that “caregivers didn’t have significantly greater inflammation over a nine-year period.”

Certainly this is a significant finding, and it is good news that family caregiving may not have long-term physical effects. My concern is the way such studies are promoted across social media, which could cause family caregivers who are struggling to doubt their own experiences.

Let me be clear that caregivers should always listen to their own body, no matter what a study proclaims. Family caregivers may experience a range of emotional, mental and physical side effects attributed to caregiving. This can include anxiety, anger, depression, burnout, insomnia and appetite issues, just to name several common ailments. While these periods of stress may not trigger a response that show up in an inflammation study, it doesn’t mean that your symptoms are not real.

Bottom line, studies are useful but you know your own body better than any researcher. Don’t let rosy headlines discourage you from seeking help if you are feeling overwhelmed by the duties of family caregiving.

That being said, for those who are anxious about the long-lasting impact of family caregiving on their health, this study may help ease worries. I have found that being a family caregiver can strengthen one’s resiliency, which is a positive in these challenging times.

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“Solo” Walks (aka I Walk Alone But It’s Fine You’re There) — When Dementia Knocks

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I connected with this post on many levels. I am an only child as the author is and I often think about how various diseases, especially dementia, would challenge my fierce independent streak. There is such a valuable lesson here for those who are encountering the early stages of dementia and dementia caregivers.

When I was in my 20’s, I spent a lot of time volunteering for hospice. One of my first hospice patients was a woman in her 60’s who had dementia. Her son lived with her, but he needed a weekly respite. I was told she was active and liked to go for walks. In fact, […]

via “Solo” Walks (aka I Walk Alone But It’s Fine You’re There) — When Dementia Knocks

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July 11, 2020 · 7:13 pm
July 4, 2020 · 10:20 am

Wishing you a safe Fourth of July

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Pixabay

Hope you and your loved ones have a safe holiday weekend.

In addition to Fourth of July, Monday is my mother’s birthday. She would have been 83 years old. Mom served briefly in the Navy, but the lessons she learned helped shape the rest of her life. She valued her time in the Navy and supported those who served. I’m grateful that Mom saved all of her Navy memorabilia, so I have everything from photos to newspaper clippings to her class notebooks.

I’ll be thinking about Mom this weekend and all of those who have served their country, whether in the military or through volunteer work as civilians.

navy newspaper clippings

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