Category Archives: Memories

April 25, 2014 · 12:36 pm

Finding Rays of Joy in the Dark Clouds of Alzheimer’s

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Joy & her father, 2011 Joy & her father, 2011

As an admitted pessimist, I watched with a heavy heart as Alzheimer’s crippled my dad’s mind and body. On one visit home, my dad restlessly paced the living room floor, then suddenly stopped in front of the couch where my mom and I were sitting. He asked, with complete sincerity, “Where’s Jane?” My mom’s name is Jane, and my parents were married for 40 years. I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. My mom remained calm, obviously used to this line of questioning. She simply responded, “I’m right here.” Mom’s strength as my dad’s primary caregiver continued to amaze me throughout my dad’s battle with Alzheimer’s. After breaking her shoulder due to a fall no doubt caused by exhaustion, she still boarded a bus for the hour-and-a-half trip each way to visit my dad in the memory care center he was residing…

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April 20, 2014 · 1:31 pm

All dressed up for Easter

Easter makes me reflect on pleasant childhood memories. I wasn’t big on dressing up, but I guess Mom managed to finagle a dress on me for some Easter photos. I’m glad that she did, because I do love this photo.

dad-easter

Easter makes me think of lovely springtime weather, and plastic eggs filled with jelly beans. I can still remember the scent they had. I remember racing through grass looking for hidden eggs at hunts at the local park.

Happy Easter for those who celebrate, both religious and secular versions of the holiday. I know that this is a holiday of hope and renewal for many. Those are two concepts we don’t often associate with Alzheimer’s and dementia. But as caregivers and family members of those with dementia, we need all of the hope we can muster.

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April 14, 2014 · 7:42 pm

A memory on a postcard

Today I want to highlight a nonprofit organization that I just stumbled upon. They’ve been around since 2009, so many of you may be familiar with them, but I wasn’t. The group is called The Spaces Between Your Fingers Project and the group writes memory snapshots for people with Alzheimer’s that are recorded on postcards and sent to families. The service is free, and a copy of the memory postcard is kept in the Free Library of Philadelphia for archiving purposes. The organization has collaborated with the Alzheimer’s Association in the past. The group also has set up an online tool that allows anyone to record a memory postcard, whether they have dementia or not.

postcard

I love this concept, it is so unique and is a great way to encourage people to record family memories. If you are wondering what “the space between your fingers” means, there is a lovely storybook on their site that takes you through the very touching tale inspired by the founder’s grandfather. You may look at Alzheimer’s in a whole new light.

I plan on giving the service a try soon and will share what I create.

What is the first memory from your life that you would want to preserve?

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April 10, 2014 · 7:06 pm

Today would have been Dad’s 82nd birthday

Today would have been my father’s 82nd birthday. He is so missed each and every day, but I am thankful that Alzheimer’s didn’t keep him trapped in a diseased world for any longer than it did.

But today is a reminder of why I have become an Alzheimer’s awareness advocate. I have become a more compassionate, aware person thanks to my father. To honor my father, and to help those who are going through the same thing with their own parents is now part of my life’s mission. I can no longer give my dad birthday gifts in this world, but trying to make a difference and battling the terrible disease of Alzheimer’s is a gift I will continue to give for the rest of my life.

I’ve posted this before, but I want to share again this montage of photos and my dad singing to me when I was a baby.

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April 8, 2014 · 8:44 pm

Reimagining the simplest things

I’ve finished reading my advance copy of Chicken Soup for the Soul: Living with Alzheimer’s and Other Dementias and I am deeply moved by the brave and loving stories shared in this collection. As we approach the release date of April 22, 2014, I will be blogging about some of the stories that I found particularly touching.

CSS Living with Alzheimer's & Other Dementias

One such story was about a man who had been married for many, many years to the love of his life. Once his wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, he tried his best to adapt their lives to deal with the disease. One area where his wife really struggled was with telling time. For those of us who have dealt with Alzheimer’s in our own family, we are all too familiar with the “clock test” and how that is used as one marker to determine a person’s cognitive functioning. My dad never took the test that I am aware of, but my mom did. My mom does not have dementia, but when she developed cancer, she was so ill that she stopped eating and her potassium levels dropped dangerously low. This can impact cognitive functioning, and boy, did it ever. I watched my mom struggle to draw that clock, and I thought my mom was facing the grim future of my father. Fortunately, her cognitive function was restored once her illness was treated.

clock

But back to the story. After the wife repeatedly asks the husband in the span of a short time when dinner is, the man puts on his thinking cap. Knowing that she cannot tell time now by a traditional clock, he sets out to recreate the tool we use to tell time. He removed the second hands and the minute hands, leaving only the hour hand moving. He then places a piece of tape above the hour they are going to eat. With the simplified version of his clock, his wife can now understand when their next meal will be, relieving a bit of stress for both of them.

Will there come a time when his wife will not be able to understand even the reconfigured clock? Probably. But the love and wisdom shown in the husband’s actions will definitely withstand the test of time.

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April 4, 2014 · 8:40 pm

Alzheimer’s Hitting Women the Hardest

An important message for all women.

Kay H. Bransford's avatarDealing with Dementia

drozshot Dr. Oz is telling me how to minimize my risk of Alzheimer’s disease. Heredity hasn’t doomed me thankfully.

I was surprised to learn that Alzheimer’s is more likely to strike women in their 60s than breast cancer. Today, Alzheimer’s is the sixth leading cause of death in the United States.

Every 67 seconds someone in the United States develops Alzheimer’s disease, and it’s taking a heavier toll on women than men, according to new information released by the Alzheimer’s Association in March.

The “2014 Alzheimer’s Disease Facts and Figures” [PDF] report found that women age 65 have a one in six chance of developing the disease, a type of dementia that causes problems with memory, thinking, and behavior. Meanwhile, men the same age have a one in 11 chance of developing the disease. Women in their 60s are also twice as likely to develop Alzheimer’s than breast…

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March 31, 2014 · 8:58 pm

If only Alzheimer’s was a cruel April Fool’s joke

If one had to pick a holiday to associate with Alzheimer’s, it would definitely be April Fool’s Day.

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Our loved ones with early to middle-stage Alzheimer’s often appear so normal, just how they’ve always looked to us. (During the latter stages of Alzheimer’s, the physical symptoms of the disease tend to be more readily apparent.) But then they open their mouth, or don’t respond to their name, or don’t recognize that you are their loved one, and it is like the cruelest April Fool’s joke in the world.

If only our loved ones were pulling off such a prank, and could snap back into their old selves while laughing and shouting, “April Fool’s!”

As I’m reading the wonderful stories in the upcoming “Chicken Soup for the Soul Living with Alzheimer’s and Other Dementias” book, I found two Alzheimer’s-related behaviors that fascinate me. One relates to April Fool’s in that humor can still be found in the Alzeimer’s experience. Often it is unexpected or unintentional humor, but it is there if you seek it out. The other is the way the disease works on the brain and how people with even mid- to latter-stage Alzheimer’s can sometimes have a lucid moment. Time and time again, people described how it was like a veil was lifted, or the fog dissipated, albeit temporarily. I remember experiencing this with my father, and what precious moments those were for me.

But then Alzheimer’s would cry, “April Fool’s” and my dad’s mind would be lost in the fog of dementia once again.

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March 5, 2014 · 8:52 pm

Voices of the Sandwich Generation Dementia has Fueled

Check out this Huffington Post interview with three women in the sandwich generation that are providing care for parents with dementia. They do a great job at explaining the challenges we all face as caregivers.

Kay H. Bransford's avatarDealing with Dementia

huffpost I was interviewed by Nancy Redd with Huffington Post who did a story on  Parents Who Care For Parents With Alzheimer’s . She interviewed three of us, all at different stages with parents who have dementia and all with children.

You can watch the video interview and hear from:

  • Kathy Ritchie @MyDementedMom (Phoenix, AZ) Blogger at My Demented Mom; Writer. Kathy has a toddler.
  • Kay Bransford @kay_bransford (McLean, VA) Blogger at Dealing With Dementia; Chief Curator at MemoryBanc. I have an 11 and 16-year-old.
  • Susan Poulos (Greensboro, NC) Caring for Mother with Alzheimer’s; Freelance Writer. Susan’s boys are now considered adults.

It was interesting to hear the stories and I hope you will watch. Shared. 

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February 11, 2014 · 4:08 pm

Sharing the Story of Dementia through Pictures

You might learn some new factoids from this infographic, even if you think you are a dementia expert.

Kay H. Bransford's avatarDealing with Dementia

I was recently sent a link to this “infographic” that sums up the large topic of dementia using pictures.

First, I want to reiterate that dementia is the umbrella term used to describe a variety of disease states — from Alzheimer’s to Vascular and even a symptom in some patients with Parkinson’s.

I made the request that they find a way to show the growth of Dementia — I feel as we are getting more education on the symptoms — many more families will find they are starting their journey with a loved one into the land of dementia. Shared.

Thank you to mba healthcare management and Riley for sharing this with me.

Dementia
Source: MBA-Healthcare-Management.com

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February 4, 2014 · 7:05 pm

Disasters and random acts of kindness

You probably heard about the snowstorm that struck Atlanta, Georgia last week and shut down the city. Many people ended up being stuck on the highway, miles from home. Children were stranded on school buses or at schools, separated from their parents. Elderly people and those with chronic diseases were in need of medications and care. Even though we all knew it was a temporary situation, with temperatures rising well above freezing by the end of the week, during that initial 24-hour period, it gave all of us here a good taste of how people react in dire circumstances.

I was pleasantly surprised to see, that even in this age of selfishness, there were a lot of examples of people going out their way to help those in need. While social media is often seen as a vapid waste of time, people took to online networks like Facebook and Twitter to learn where there loved ones were and to help those in need. People who needed medical attention were taken to hospitals, and a stranded pregnant woman and young child were provided with shelter. Teachers stayed with their stranded students overnight instead of with their own families. One man walked six miles during the snowstorm just so he could spend the night with his daughter, who was stranded at her elementary school.

helping

Sure, there was the guy who drove a fake tow truck to try and steal abandoned cars off the road, but he was quickly caught. 🙂

It made me think about the random acts of kindness bestowed on my family during my dad’s illness and when I was my mom’s caregiver. The little things that made such a difference, like the shuttle driver that bought my mom flowers while we were viewing my dad’s body at the funeral home. That same shuttle driver risked her life to get me to the airport right after a brutal snowstorm so I could try to make it home for Christmas, then came back to pick me up when the airport shut down and drove me to a hotel. I sent her a thank you card but there really is no way to repay these acts of kindness. There was another shuttle driver who picked me up from the hospital in his personal car after he had completed a long day at work, when I was stranded at the hospital with mom and literally had no other way to get home.

When you are a caregiver, these simple acts of kindness make such a difference, whether you find yourself dealing with a disaster on a personal or larger scale. Bless all of those people who open their hearts and help those in need.

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