As we enter the holiday season, where some will have more interaction with family members, it’s a good time to assess your family’s preparedness when it comes to aging well. Anthony Cirillo shared on The Aging Experience a “Longevity Preparedness Index” produced by John Hancock in collaboration with MIT’s AgeLab.
Courtesy of John Hancock
The Longevity Preparedness Index , surveyed over 1,300 Americans in 2025 to assess readiness across 8 top aging areas: social connection, finance, daily activities, care, home, community, health, and life transitions.
As Cirillo points out in his post, Americans didn’t fare well overall, scoring just 60 out of 100 for longevity preparedness. He offers actions people can take to increase their ability to age well, from growing social connections to having frank conversations about financial planning and life transitions.
The key theme is that the time to prepare is before one becomes older and before health issues need to be addressed. The one area in which Americans are least prepared is one of the most important when it comes to aging: care. Scoring just 42/100, the majority of those surveyed do not have a care plan and do not know who would take care of them if a health issue required assistance. Creating an advanced care directive is vital.
No one can predict the specific care needs you or your loved ones will require in the future, but considering these critical area of aging can help families be more prepared and make smart decisions that will offer them the best chance of aging well.
A few years ago around this time of the year, I fell hard at the park while walking my dog. It knocked the wind out of me, something I hadn’t experienced since I was a child. The shock of the fall caused me to drop the dog leash but fortunately my rescue dog didn’t take off. After catching my breath and assessing any injuries (fortunately nothing broken or sprained) I was able to slowly make it home. For the next week I was bruised and sore. I was fortunate this was a minor incident, but it was a reminder that falls can happen at any time and can cause more significant injuries.
I was reminded of how falls can be deadly this past week. Ace Frehley of the legendary rock band KISS died after suffering a fall in his home. He was only 74.
Falls can lead to all sorts of health issues from the obvious broken bones that may require surgical repair and a lengthy rehabilitation period to less obvious injuries like internal bleeding and concussions. My mother suffered a fractured shoulder after a fall in the home and it never did heal properly, limiting he ability to raise that arm. My father suffered multiple falls at the memory care center. Falls can be sneaky because internal injuries are not always immediately apparent. It’s important to monitor for any emerging symptoms and changes in mental health status in the days after a fall.
This time of year can be a wonderful time to walk and be out in nature. The temperatures are more moderate and the leaves are turning gorgeous colors. But once those leaves fall to the ground along with other tree debris (we get a lot of hard balls that litter the ground below the tree canopy in my neighborhood) it can create a risky walking surface. Depending upon what shoes I’m wearing I either stomp on these hard balls or try to scoot them out of the way to avoid walking over them. I’ve had a few close calls over the years when walking around the neighborhood during the fall season.
For caregivers of elders or anyone with mobility challenges, just be extra mindful during this time of year. I think it gets less attention that winter, where snowy and icy surfaces are well known for being dangerous conditions. Try to keep the outdoor paths around your home clear of leaves and other fallen debris. Make sure your loved one is wearing sturdy shoes. Guide them through leaf-covered walkways carefully. Remember that after a rain, slick leaves can present an extra slipping hazard.
With a little extra preparation, the autumn season can be enjoyed safely by the young and old alike.
A recent post on the Alzheimer’s Association website offers a message for those who may feel like they are struggling as a dementia caregiver.
Gemma O’Donnell, whose father has Alzheimer’s, is also a registered nurse, educator, researcher, and dementia care advocate. The disease has had an impact on her life both personally and professionally, O’Donnell said.
“The heart of caregiving is not perfection, but presence. What has stayed with me is how much the small moments matter—sharing a laugh, holding a hand, or simply sitting together when words are no longer possible.”
She shared another tip for a common issue that dementia caregivers experience, and one that my mother struggled with in caring for my father. “Over time, I learned that joining someone in their reality brings far more peace and connection,” O’Donnell said.
I also loved her quote encouraging caregivers to seek support: “Asking for help is an act of love, not failure.” I totally agree and that is why I created Respite Care Share. Don’t ignore the signs of caregiver burnout.
One of the main challenges I hear from family caregivers is the lack of time they have for themselves. When you are a dementia caregiver, you are always on duty, watching over your loved one to make sure they stay out of harm’s way. When your loved one is your priority, your own well-being is neglected.
This happened to my mother, who put her own health needs and screenings on hold while caring for my father, only to be diagnosed with stage III colon cancer six months after my father’s death.
This blog post about being a caregiver without losing yourself offers helpful and practical tips on organizing supportive resources so that you are not going through the family caregiving experience alone.
The National Alliance of Caregiving released a new report, Caregiving in the US, which offers insights on the latest trends in caregiving. This comprehensive 140-page report provides data on America’s family caregivers, including insights on who is providing care and what type of care, the financial impact and the ongoing challenges caregivers encounter when trying to access support and resources. In addition, the report takes a look at how caregiving affects a person’s emotional, physical, and mental health.
Key findings:
Approximately 1 in 4 American adults is a family caregiver.
The average age of a family caregiver is 51, which happens to be my current age. My parents were older when they had me, therefore I began the family caregiver journey sooner than some of my peers.
Women make up the majority (61 percent) of family caregivers.
Twenty percent of caregivers live in rural areas, which can complicate access to care resources and support.
40 percent of caregivers live with their care recipient.
Family caregivers spend an average of 27 hours per week providing care; nearly a quarter provide 40 or more hours per week.
7 in 10 caregivers also work, which can add to a caregiver’s daily stress of trying to juggle two demanding positions. For many caregivers, not working outside of caregiving is not an option, with almost half reporting at least one negative financial impact. Finding affordable care support services has also become more expensive.
It should come as no surprise that caregivers’ own health is negatively impacted. According to the report, 1 in 5 family caregivers rate their health as fair or poor and 64 percent experienced emotional strain.
Caregivers are performing a wide range of duties: two-thirds help with at least one activity of daily living (ADL) like bathing, dressing, toileting, feeding, and mobility assistance. 8 in 10 caregivers are handling multiple instrumental activities of daily living (IADLs)—such as shopping, managing finances, preparing meals, and arranging transportation.
An alarming statistic: more caregivers are performing complex medical or nursing tasks such as managing catheters, giving injections, or monitoring vital signs. While more than half (55 percent) perform complex tasks, only 22 percent received training. Learning medical tasks on the fly is common but definitely stressful. I wrote about this aspect of caregiving in The Reluctant Caregiver.
One statistic that stuck out to me due to my advocacy work in respite care is that few caregivers (just 13 percent) are utilizing respite resources, even though nearly 40 percent recognize that respite services would be helpful. This reluctance to use respite care and the barriers that prevent caregivers from seeking respite is one of the main reasons I started Respite Care Share. As the study points out, the low usage of respite care is not just due to lack of accessibility; for some caregivers, there are cultural connotations to accepting help that must be addressed in order to reduce the risk of caregiver burnout.
How caregivers want to be supported
According to the caregivers surveyed in the report, tax credits and direct payments were nearly equally cited as preferred sources of financial support. Paid leave also received support from a majority of caregivers.
In addition to financial support, caregivers requested services like respite care, emotional support, and health care training. As pointed out above, it’s not enough to just offer these services but find ways to break down barriers to make sure the services are truly accessible and designed to meet the diverse needs of communities throughout the country.
Today is my birthday. After last year’s leap of faith, I’m keeping it simple this year with a staycation. An at-home vacation gives one opportunities to indulge in self-care.
I’m a believer in self-care; my project Respite Care Share is all about helping caregivers take breaks from caregiving duties. (I’m wrapping up a refresh of that project, more to come soon.) There are numerous studies about caregiver burnout and the dangers it presents to caregivers and care recipients. Taking regular caregiving breaks is key to recharging and maintaining an identity outside of caregiving.
But reality check: self-care doesn’t happen by waving a magic wand. I wish it did! For solo caregivers and single folks, self-care is yet another task one has to perform on top of all of the other chores and duties necessary for a functional life. And at some point, caring for yourself can feel like a burden.
If you find yourself struggling with self-care, try connecting with resources that are meaningful and authentic. I listened to an episode of the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast recently with two of my favorite people in the metro Atlanta caregiving community: Elizabeth Miller and Hope Cross. This was a down-to-earth discussion about the challenges of caregiving and taking care of oneself. You may remember I’ve written about Hope before, as she cared for her husband, Steve Dezember, who had ALS. She is now a licensed counselor with a practice focused on family caregivers.
If you are looking for ways to incorporate more self-care into your life (most of us need to!) the Happy Healthy Caregiver website is a good resource. From my own experience with Respite Care Share, it’s best to start small, with easy to manage and access respite activities, even if it’s just getting away for an hour and enjoying your favorite beverage at a local cafe or taking a walk in the park. Respite can be designed to fit the caregiver’s needs and caregiving situation. For some, it might mean a weekend away; for others an afternoon to recharge. What’s important about respite and self-care is not so much what you do, but how often you engage in caring for yourself.
Looking at old family photos is a favorite respite of mine. If you haven’t tried My Heritage’s new AI feature, Live Memory, consider giving it a spin. You get to try it for free. It brings motion to images. It added an extra sweet dimension to this beloved photo with my father.
Here’s hoping you can find a way to make self-care the gift it should be and not a burden in your life.
Dr. Elaine Eshbaugh offers wise words and compassionate insights once again on her blog, When Dementia Knocks. There are many ways family members can react to a loved one’s dementia diagnosis. Some people will embrace the fuzzy blinders of denial, while others will go into overdrive in an attempt to protect their loved one from cognitive decline for as long as possible. While the latter is noble to a certain extent, it can place an intense and unrealistic burden on the caregiver, as Eshbaugh points out in her blog post. Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease; while there may be some steps you can take to stave off decline for awhile, they won’t work in every person and eventually, the disease progresses. When a loved one declines after a period of relative stability, it’s not the fault of the caregiver. It is simply the nature of the terrible disease.
Be kind, especially to yourself and your role as a dementia caregiver.
Summer has just started and this week it’s supposed to be in the high 90s here in Atlanta. I’ve lived here since 1997, and know that hot, long, and humid summers are to be expected. But as one gets older, one needs to take extra precautions against the heat. This applies to our pets as well.
Each year, I write at least one blog post dedicated to summer safety tips. It’s heartbreaking to think that in our modern age, people die because of the heat. For dementia caregivers, extra thought should be given to not only protecting loved ones from the heat, but also finding indoor activities that are stimulating and finding ways to still spend a bit of time outdoors.
Hydration: I’m always blown away by the fact that some people don’t drink water. I consistently drink water throughout the day and would feel unwell if I didn’t. Older people often don’t drink enough fluids, and dementia can complicate matters further. To make water less boring, there are flavored waters and sparkling waters. Unsweetened varieties are available for those who need to keep their blood sugars in check. Another fun solution are Jelly Drops. Hydrating foods like watermelon count as well, so consider that as a tasty option.
Cooling options in the home: In certain parts of the country, such as where I live in Atlanta and where I used to live in Texas, air conditioning is considered a must-have. That doesn’t mean everyone has AC, or can afford to use it. I hate to hear about cases where older people die from the heat because they were afraid to turn on their air conditioner due to the cost. It’s no joke that AC is expensive to run; there are government programs to help offset some of the costs. Cooling stations exist in some cities during extreme heat waves. Check on your elder loved ones frequently during heat waves and make sure they are living in a situation that is bearable, especially if they are in fragile health.
Adapting favorite activities: If you live in an area that experiences extreme heat, those long and hot sunny days can begin to feel like a prison. This is especially true for loved ones with dementia, who may become restless if their outdoor activities are limited. There are a few things you can do to adapt. One thing I do with my senior dog is take walks early in the morning, where it might be humid but at least the sun isn’t broiling us. There aren’t as many shopping malls as there used to be, but if you still have one in your area, walking around the air conditioned mall can be a nice indoor activity on a hot day. My parents used to do this for exercise. Some recreation facilities have indoor walking tracks; swimming pools could be another option to cool off. Instead of hitting the golf course on a dangerously hot day, consider an indoor golf simulator facility like Topgolf. Museums offer a stimulating activity in a cool environment.
Caregivers should learn the signs of heat-related health issues so they can spot them quickly in those they care for and seek timely treatment.
I admit I dread the summers, because of the oppressive heat and the mosquitoes. But what I do enjoy about summer is the extended daylight and iced coffee. If you are not a fan of summer, try to find one thing to enjoy: maybe it’s an ice cream cone or a dip in the swimming pool. Hopefully you can share some of these simple joys with your elder loved ones you care for, and make happy memories this summer season.
There’s a new documentary airing on PBS called, Caregiving. Actor Bradley Cooper served as an executive producer and at the beginning of the film, he discusses the emotional impact caring for his father had on him.
The bulk of the film focuses on average Americans who are faced with a healthcare crisis in their family and how they attempt to navigate America’s broken healthcare system to access essential services. When that fails, caregivers are forced to take on the burden all on their own. I definitely could relate to many of the challenges these caregivers faced, from job loss to the extra stress of being a sole care provider. I also like that the film showcases stories of care recipients and caregivers who are a variety of ages. Caregiving is not just for the young and the old; any of us can be faced with an unexpected health issue that we are not prepared for and will upend our lives.
While the stories shared in the documentary are sobering, there are moments of triumph and a historic overview of care in America, and how advocates over the decades have made a real difference in how care services have evolved. There’s no question that more resources and support are needed, especially as we grapple with a rapidly aging America. There are some positive developments at the state level, with funding programs for paid leave being approved by voters but nationally, even though Americans in polls claim to support additional care funding, they often don’t vote in their best interest.
Politicians claim they can’t stomach the cost of programs like paid family leave, yet studies (and common sense) shows that the longer you can support an elder aging in place at home, the more reasonable the cost compared to having Medicaid pay the expense of a nursing home. Meanwhile, family caregivers provide billions of dollars in free labor each year, to fill the gaps the government refuses to cover.
Caring Across Generations is featured prominently in the Caregiving documentary, which I’m glad to see, as I’ve participated in events with them in the past. I appreciate their practical yet compassionate approach to caregiving issues, and their focus on being inclusive, as caregiving is something that touches all of our lives at some point.
I hope you get a chance to watch the documentary. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
I came across a new service for seniors and their family caregivers that is getting ready to launch. I’ll admit it caught my eye because it has my name! Joy Calls is an AI-powered call service that performs virtual wellness checks.
A smart feature of the service is that even though Joy is an AI-powered persona, the high-tech is contained in a familiar package: a telephone call. No special equipment or training is required to use the service. Joy calls your loved one, checking in on things like medication, hydration, diet, and mood. Your loved one’s responses are summarized and provided to the caregiver.
The concept is designed not to replace family caregivers but virtually augment the monitoring of their loved ones, potentially extending their ability to age in place safely. A price hasn’t been set yet, but according to Onscreen, the company producing Joy Calls, the service is expected to cost in the range of $10-40 per month.
It’s an intriguing concept, and I will be interested in how well the service works and if it can meet the needs of seniors and family caregivers. I’m curious to see how the service handles sensitive information and if it can reduce the risk of AI hallucinations, otherwise the calls could go off the rails. And thinking of my mother, how will Joy handle a senior who is, to put it politely, verbose? Will she interrupt and try to get the call back on track? I felt helpless at times trying to keep my mother focused on the topic at hand, so I hope Joy Calls is up to the challenge.
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The Memories Project 