Merry Christmas to all who celebrate. I hope you have the chance to relax, recharge, and connect with loved ones this holiday season.
As you can see, my pets have already started celebrating!
If you need a last-minute holiday gift, the Smashwords End of Year Sale runs until Jan. 1.
Filed under Memories
Wishing you and your family a peaceful and restful holiday season. The cats managed to negotiate with Santa Claus and get a gift early. I would love to be a cat with my very own soft, cozy house for endless naps!
For those grieving this holiday season, I fully understand and send you supportive and healing energy.
If you need last-minute gifts, you can get the e-book version of my award-winning personal essay collection, The Reluctant Caregiver, for just 99 cents if you purchase through the Smashwords 2023 End of Year Sale. The deal is available through Jan. 1, 2024. For the kids, you can grab the digital version of my children’s book, Slow Dog, for $2.99 on Amazon Kindle.
If you are feeling a bit sad today, I hope this puts a smile on your face!
Filed under Memories
Christmas was a simple affair for my small family, but a holiday I remember fondly. I can still smell the cinnamon sticks featured in the holiday decoration in the far left of this family photo. I kept some of the brightly colored balls we used to decorate our small tree and they now decorate my tabletop tree, some 40 years later.
Wishing you and your loved ones a happy holiday. I hope you get to spend it with loved ones and that the deep freeze doesn’t disrupt your plans. Stay warm and safe!
Filed under Memories
It’s the ninth anniversary of my father’s death, and that also means it is time for my annual PSA (public service announcement) about being gentle and non-judgmental with those who choose not to celebrate the holiday season because they’ve lost someone during this time of year.
The coronavirus pandemic that has claimed more than 300,000 lives in America will put a damper on this year’s festivities. But I also noticed the opposite effect, with neighbors putting their Christmas decorations up well before Thanksgiving. Both are natural reactions and we should respect the way individuals choose to cope.
This year as I reflect upon the anniversary of my father’s death, I remembered a detail I came across in a card he had attempted to write one of his sisters, but no longer had the cognitive function to address and mail. He had written in the card that he had been diagnosed with the swine flu. He had not received such a diagnosis, but the H1N1 pandemic was in the news at the time. Dad had latched on to that to explain what was happening to his body. That memory came back strong this year as the coronavirus pandemic unleashed its fury across the world.
Related to the pandemic and the need to wear masks, I also am reflecting on the fact that Dad would likely have been anti-mask. In 1986, when I was 12, wearing seat belts became mandatory when driving a vehicle in California. I remember many heated arguments in the car because of my father’s stubborn refusal to put on his seat belt. He claimed wearing the belt was constricting and made him feel like he was choking. Sound familiar this year? As an ill-advised compromise, Dad would drape the belt over his torso, but not latch it. Fortunately we never had any serious accidents. According to the Los Angeles Times, my father was part of the majority who at the time did not wear seat belts on a regular basis.
It has been the strangest and most challenging of years and the holiday season is no different. Connect with those you love however you can safely. Offer words of comfort and healing to the many who are grieving.
Filed under Memories
Whenever I learn of someone’s passing during the holiday season, I feel an extra pang of sympathy. Losing a loved one at any time of the year is devastating, of course. But there is something about loss during a period of such joy for others that is particularly painful.
Today it has been eight years since my father’s death. So much has happened since then, yet it’s still hard to believe that it has been so long since his passing. I remember how odd the Christmas decorations and Christmas music blaring everywhere seemed to be after I learned the news of my father’s passing. It’s a tough lesson to learn in such a fragile state: the world goes on without your loved one.
If you find yourself grieving this holiday season, cut yourself some slack. Don’t feel obligated to put on a happy front. There are many others just like you who feel conflicted emotions during this time of year. Hopefully over time, some happier memories will filter in through the grief. If you know someone who has lost someone during the holidays, reach out to them and offer your support.
I hope you and your loved ones have a holiday filled with peace and love.
Filed under Memories
Mom and Dad at Christmas, circa mid-1980s.
The holidays can be stressful for caregivers, but they also offer moments of magic and the potential to create memories that you will cherish for the rest of your life.
I hope that you enjoy the time spent with family and other loved ones over the holidays. For those of us remembering those who have departed, it can be a comfort to reflect upon happy moments and favorite memories.
And if you feel yourself being overworked or stressed out, don’t be shy about asking for help!
Filed under Memories
Julia Freeman-Woolpert/Freeimages
Ever since my father died five days before Christmas in 2011, the holiday season has been bittersweet for me. He also spent Thanksgiving of that year in the hospital, so both holidays are associated with sickness and death.
But each year, there are stories that reinforce the wonder of the holiday season and lift my spirits.
The story about a lovely woman named Karen, who has dementia but has maintained her lifelong love of Santa Claus, is one of those uplifting stories.
As Karen has moved into the latter stages of dementia and was recently placed in hospice care, her family made the wise decision to capture a beautiful holiday moment that her family will treasure for generations to come.
If you click through on the Facebook post above, you can read the entire story behind the photo shoot. I love the fact that Karen has a Santa doll and speaks Japanese to it!
Of course, not everyone with dementia reacts to holidays in a positive fashion, so it’s best to follow their lead. But don’t be afraid to indulge in some good old-fashioned fun this holiday season. We can all learn a lesson from Karen and her family.
Filed under Memories
I hope everyone has a peaceful, love-filled holiday. Make those moments count with those who mean the most to you.
For those of us dealing with loss, the holiday season is bittersweet. This year, I bought a tabletop tree, and decorated it with Christmas ornaments from my childhood. My family always had a tabletop tree, because we lived in an apartment that didn’t have room for a big tree.
It didn’t matter to me that the tree was small and fake, I loved the magic of Christmas as a child. My parents worked hard to make the holidays special for me, and I am grateful I have those happy memories.
Happy holidays to all. Stay warm and safe, and enjoy the precious moments with loved ones.
Filed under Memories, Memories Project notes
This week was a double whammy for me, as not only did I mark the fourth anniversary of my father’s death on Dec. 20th, yesterday marked seven months since Mom died. Somber anniversaries just before Christmas.
Mom’s last Christmas card to me.
While I think of my parents daily, I honestly let the 20th slip by without officially marking my father’s death anniversary. Four years out, there is naturally some healing and closure. I know this will eventually happen with how I feel about my mom as well.
Just after Christmas, I am paying my father tribute by visiting New Orleans. I will be taking the train, one of my dad’s favorite modes of transportation (after a boat.) I will be staying at the Roosevelt Hotel where my dad worked for a brief time.
My dad never provided a great deal of detail about his time in New Orleans, but when he did speak of the city, he spoke of it fondly. I’ve been once before, but was just passing through. I look forward to reconnect with one of my dad’s old stomping grounds, when he was a young and carefree man.
I also hope that being “stuck” on the train will free up time for me to focus on writing.
For the other bloggers out there dealing with loss or illness this holiday season, I send along thoughts of peace and comfort.
Filed under Memories
Each year, it seems that there is another memorial ornament to hang on the Christmas tree.
Welcome to middle age, I guess.
The top of this year’s tree is loaded with memorial ornaments and pet collars of departed pets. While the sheer number of the dearly departed is a bit shocking, I don’t mind that the Christmas tree has become a memorial tree of sorts.
It’s a nice way to reflect on those we shared so many holidays with, and who will always hold a special place in our hearts.
Do you hang memorial ornaments or otherwise honor the departed during your holiday celebrations?
Filed under Memories
![Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000038_00069]](https://memoriesproject.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/reluctant-caregiver-cover.jpg)
☆☆☆☆☆ By eMediHealth ☆☆☆☆☆
The Memories Project receives 2 Sunshine Awards!
The Memories Project 