There are so many excellent documentaries about caregiving that have been released over the last few years and I’d like to highlight a recent entry, “Duty Free.” It’s about a woman named Rebecca who gets fired from her job at age 75 and is facing a dire housing and economic situation while caring for a son with mental health issues. Her other son, a young filmmaker, uses the challenging moment as an opportunity to help his mother complete a bucket list of adventures and experiences she never got to enjoy as a single immigrant mother raising two children. What transpires are moments of joy and heartbreak as Rebecca forges a new path for herself while addressing her past.
I found this documentary to be very moving while spotlighting an issue that more and more elders find themselves facing. Retirement is becoming less of a certainty as rising economic insecurity means more and more older people will continue to work their entire lives. Rebecca immigrated to this country when she was young and worked hard all of her life in the hotel industry, working her way up to a supervisor position in the housekeeping department before being fired at age 75. Her housing arrangement was also nullified as the result of her job termination, so Rebecca was facing dual hardships. We know from studies that starting around age 50, women in particular find it much harder to secure employment or move forward in their careers. At Rebecca’s age, though she is still vibrant and physically active, the job search is even more grim.
The film also is about caregiving, as Rebecca financially supports her son who has schizophrenia and is unable to work. So many older people find themselves supporting their adult children for a variety of reasons, and that adds to their own economic insecurity. Her other son, Sian-Pierre, is limited in financial resources but does offer something priceless, which is encouraging his mother to do all of the things she never had time to do while raising children and documenting his mother’s story for the world to see.
I encourage you to watch this film and share with others. If you have seen it, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
The documentary focuses on the mysterious death of Canadian tourist Elisa Lam, who was found dead in a water tank atop the Cecil Hotel in 2013. While authorities ruled the death an accidental drowning, there are many questions surrounding her death, amplified by the notorious reputation of the hotel. The four-part series covers many of the high-profile crimes that have taken place at the Cecil.
For those interested in the possible supernatural influence at the Cecil, I’m sharing my father’s terrifying experience. My father lived at the Cecil in 1965. He was a young, single immigrant from Northern Ireland who needed affordable accommodations near his workplace. He had been staying at the Cecil for some time with no unusual incidents to report until one night, he woke up to the sensation that someone was smothering him. He described it as a heavy pressure weighing down on his chest and throat, as if someone was sitting atop him. He gasped for breath and tried to fight back, but it felt like his entire body was paralyzed by an invisible but strong presence. Then as soon as it began, the feeling dissipated. My father ran downstairs to the night clerk, and explained what had happened. The clerk said, nonchalantly, that someone had been murdered in my dad’s room.
Dad’s naturalization certificate with the Cecil Hotel listed as his address.
My dad changed rooms and did not experience anything unusual during the rest of his stay.
But the experience haunted my father for the rest of his life. Decades later, my father would be visibly shaken when retelling the story of what happened in that room at the Cecil Hotel. He would break out into a sweat, and his hands would shake. My mother would caution him to stop telling the story if it upset him so much, but Dad felt compelled to go on, even while clutching his heart.
My dad survived the Nazis bombing his hometown of Belfast, Northern Ireland as a child. He recounted having to run to the bomb shelter in the middle of the night with less fear than he told the story about that night at the Cecil Hotel.
The logical, rational side of me can dismiss my father’s experience at the Cecil as just a nightmare. He was prone to nightmares, very bad ones in which I remember him moaning and crying out in fear. But the thing about his nightmares is that they were always the classic “someone chasing me” scenario. Never did he have a nightmare that in any way resembled his experience at the Cecil.
There’s no way for me to know if my father had an encounter with an evil presence that haunts the Cecil Hotel or not, but I do know that whatever my father experienced, it felt very real to him.
When my father stayed at the Cecil, he likely wasn’t aware of its disturbing history. About a dozen suicides had been recorded at the hotel by the mid-1960s, including several women. Pauline Otten, 27, committed suicide in 1962 by jumping out of a window at the Cecil. In a tragic twist, she killed a pedestrian on impact. Just a year before my father’s stay, Goldie Osgood, a retiree known as “Pigeon Goldie” and the “Pigeon Lady of Pershing Square,” was raped and murdered in her room. The coroner said Osgood had been choked to death with a hand towel. The case was never solved, though an initial arrest was made. This Medium post offers a good overview of the deaths associated with the Cecil Hotel.
Unfortunately, the Cecil’s reputation only grew worse. In subsequent decades, it has been home to at least two serial killers, including the infamous Night Stalker. Lam’s mysterious death garnered worldwide interest and once again put the Cecil in the spotlight. The hotel tried to rebrand itself as Stay on Main for a few years and is undergoing yet another transformation but still attracts much attention from paranormal enthusiasts.
If you have interest in the history of the Cecil Hotel and the Elisa Lam case, I encourage you to watch this new documentary and let me know what you think. Many of you have reached out to me over the years to offer your own experiences when visiting the Cecil Hotel and I appreciate your comments.
I’m always eager to support caregiver causes, and this upcoming documentary caught my attention.
“The Weight of Honor” is a documentary about family caregivers tending to their loved ones who were wounded while serving in the military. These caregivers, often young and caring for young children, find themselves suddenly tending to spouses who have suffered catastrophic injuries and who are dealing with PTSD.
You can watch the trailer here:
I recently watched a very moving PBS documentary, “Of Men and War,” that focused on a PTSD treatment center, the first of its kind. To hear what these men went through, and what they are battling to overcome, was gut-wrenching, but something that deserves more recognition and support.
Like many documentary filmmakers, funds are tough to come by, even for such a noble cause. Director and producer Stephanie Howard has started a crowdsourcing campaign for finishing funds for the film. If you would like to support the project, please consider a donation and share information about the film on your blog and social media.
I look forward to seeing this documentary and learning more about what military family caregivers experience.
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The Memories Project 