Tag Archives: unemployment

Resources for family caregivers facing unemployment

Photo by Windows on Unsplash.

There have been a series of layoffs in the media world recently and I find myself once again without a job. The last time I joined the ranks of the unemployed was when I quit a new job to take care of my mother when she was diagnosed with colon cancer just six months after my father died. I am fortunate this time around to have received a severance package that will keep me afloat temporarily while I look for new opportunities.

So many people, especially family caregivers, don’t have such a safety net when they face a job loss. I wanted to share some lessons that I learned while I was an unemployed family caregiver and a few resources for family caregivers who find themselves in challenging financial circumstances.

Unemployment is one of life’s most stressful events, and it’s even more so for those who are the primary caregivers for a loved one. Before tackling the financial challenges, make sure you have the emotional support you need. High levels of sustained stress can trigger physical symptoms, so don’t ignore your own health needs during this difficult time.

Reassess your family budget and be prepared to make some difficult cuts. Are there any expenses that could be reduced or eliminated? With many family caregivers already living paycheck to paycheck, this might feel like an exercise in futility. But reviewing your budget is essential as it will help determine what financial assistance programs you may qualify for.

Take a thoughtful approach to your job search. Being unemployed can leave one feeling desperate and willing to take the first job offer that comes along, but that can end up backfiring. Unemployment provides an opportunity to reconsider your work priorities. List your job requirements, which might include a minimum salary level, remote work, flexible schedule, etc. Highlight which are must-haves and refine your job search to meet those requirements. For example, as my mother dealt with health complications that delayed her recovery, I turned to freelance work instead of looking for another full-time job. In that moment, family caregiving took precedent and I didn’t want to begin another full-time job only to have to quit again if my mother had further medical issues. The downside was that I had to utilize my parent’s limited financial resources to help pay my own bills during that period. When my mother became more medically stable, I began my full-time job search in earnest.

It won’t last forever: I spent over a year in what I called “severe underemployment” in which I picked up several low-paying freelance gigs to help pay the bills because I couldn’t find anything better at the time. Finally I found a job through a former colleague that turned out to be an ideal fit and allowed me to work with a fantastic team.

But be prepared for further hiccups: I learned this lesson the hard way: the universe isn’t going to give you a break because you are a caregiver. Home repairs, the car breaking down, or more substantial events like divorce and illness may occur. For example, as I’m still reeling from being laid off last month, I’m having to deal with a pricey veterinary bill because my dog is sick.

Funding resources for family caregivers:

AARP: Can I Get Paid to Be a Caregiver for a Family Member?

Family Caregiver Alliance: Family Caregiver Services by State

Caregiver Action Network: Financial and Legal Tools


Filed under Awareness & Activism

Dad as a security guard

After dad lost his job, it took almost a year for him to find new work. He never went back to the trucking industry, as he was getting to the age where he was passed over for younger guys with stronger muscles. He didn’t have any formal job training before he became a Teamster. I know he was a bellhop for awhile in New York City.

So like it is for many Americans right now, it was tough for dad to find another job. He was middle-aged, with only a high school diploma and unskilled in any kind of trade. It was a huge blow to his ego, because while dad may not have been the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, he was always a hard worker who provided for his family. He had always been able to find stable jobs with the Teamsters but they pushed him into an early retirement.

Dad floundered over the next several months. He was a worker and now he had no work. He also didn’t have a great deal of hobbies, other than reading. And one can only read so much. I’m sure he went into a depression, as many long-term unemployed people experience.

I’m not sure how the security guard position came up. It was at a trucking company called Rolling Thunder. He may have heard about the job through a former co-worker. At any rate, he got the job. He was unarmed, but was given an official uniform, which he was proud to wear. His job was to let the trucks and other vehicles in and out of the facility. He spent most of his time in the “guard shack,” a small structure that allowed him to sit and listen to the radio, and eat his lunch in between duties.

I’m guessing it was a pretty lonely job, but he was well liked by the truckers who would shoot the breeze with him. He could also take smoke breaks whenever he wanted, and he did get some exercise by walking his rounds. The pay wasn’t much but it helped pay some bills and most importantly, made dad feel like he had a purpose in life again. At the time, I was embarrassed to say my dad was a security guard, because the position is often looked down upon. But now, I realize how important the job was to my dad, and how much it meant for him to provide for his family again. He was a good man.


Filed under Memories

Dad loses his job, but doesn’t tell us

Dad lost his job when I was in junior high school, but he didn’t bother to tell my mom and I for two whole weeks. I knew this because of a letter that arrived, addressed to my dad from the trucking company he worked at. My mom placed it on top of his ashtray, which when it wasn’t in use also served as my my dad’s mail holder.

My dad was in the shower, but soon would be down to have a cup of coffee before heading out to run weekend errands. “The Three Stooges” were on, which as I’ve mentioned before is one of the few interests my Dad and I shared during my childhood. For some reason, the letter intrigued me, and as a snoopy pre-teen, I couldn’t resist exploring it. Turns out, I didn’t even need to open it. I held it up to the light and the dark typeset jumped right out at me. The first word that caught my eye was “termination.” There were other less important words, some I could make out, some I couldn’t, and then a date. It was for the Monday of the upcoming week.

I heard Dad coming down the stairs and quickly put the letter back in the ashtray. I turned my eyes to the TV screen, where Moe was hitting Curly upside the head with a fish. I slanted my eyes covertly in my dad’s direction as he opened the envelope. He tore it open by ripping off the side and blowing into the slit. The way he opened letters always annoyed me.

His emerald eyes quickened with a dark fire as he scanned the contents of the letter quickly, but he otherwise didn’t show any emotion. He re-folded the letter, placed it back in the envelope and slipped the envelope into one of his worn, dog-eared library books.

“Nyuk, nyuk nyuk,” Curly was chuckling across the TV screen.

“Oh I remember this one,” Dad said. “It’s a real good one.” Dad had no doubt seen all of the “Three Stooges” episodes, one of the few bright spots in an otherwise fairly dismal childhood marred by the Nazi aerial bombings that drove his family to the bomb shelter on a nightly basis for months.

And then he finished his coffee and went on his way. I thought for sure at the dinner table that night he would come clean with what I had dramatically envisioned as the “Big Confession.”

But dinner went off without any fireworks. Mom made one of our favorites, the chicken-dressing casserole that was strictly a can-box recipe, but we each had second helpings. Dad’s appetite didn’t seem to be impacted by the bad news at all.

And then the weekend was over and a new school week began for me, but for my dad, his work days had been shut down, at least temporarily. I knew and he knew, but my mom didn’t. So she went on faithfully packing his lunches every day, turkey or ham sandwiches with mayo, a banana or orange and a cookie. She kept packing those lunches for two weeks straight and dad kept taking those lunches and going off God-knows-where for the day. I suspect he hung out at the library, as his bar days were well behind him at this point. I suspect he ate those sack lunches in the car, or perhaps on one of the benches under the elm tree outside the library. Alas, I’ll never know for sure.

Finally, he spilled the beans and we began our financial purgatory. The small savings account that was set up as my college fund, started by my long-deceased grandparents, instead went to pay for my braces when our health insurance was cut off.

My dad would drop me off for my bi-weekly orthodontist appointments in the early afternoon. There was a massive Catholic church across the street. After my appointment, with my teeth aching from the tightening of the rubber bands, I would peek inside the car, where sometimes I would find him reading or napping. Usually, I would find him in the cool, quiet confines of the church, poised on the padded kneeler, eyes closed, praying. I would watch him from a distance while standing in the aisle; at that time of day we were often the only two souls in the church. The sun streamed through the stained glass windows, highlighting the dust particles floating unhurriedly through the atmosphere.

I had not been brought up as a Catholic like my dad nor a Southern Baptist like my mom, so the visits to the church didn’t make me feel anything in particular. But it was cool and quiet and comforting, much like the library which my dad and I both enjoyed spending countless hours in.

I carefully took my place in the pew beside my dad and waited as he prayed for a new job.

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Filed under Memories