Monthly Archives: November 2025

November 23, 2025 · 4:01 pm

Gen X caught in an extended ‘sandwich generation squeeze’

Every generation has its challenges, but Generation X finds itself in an extended “sandwich generation” role, raising children and taking care of aging parents who are living longer than ever, but not without their share of health issues.

In the recent Generations issue by the American Society on Aging, an article by Grace Macalino Schauf describes her overwhelming caregiver situation and how she had a breakthrough that helped her better manage her many caregiving duties. Schauf found herself caring for her 80-something parents, including her mother with vascular dementia and helping her young adult sons navigate college while also filling the childcare gaps left by her sister-in-law’s sudden death.

Schauf explained that in her Filipino culture, the eldest daughter is expected to fulfill the caregiver role in the family, yet she realized that she was being stretched beyond capacity. The breakthrough came when she developed a “caregiver identity integration.” The framework created boundaries and required an identity reset, to fully integrate the caregiver role into her life instead of trying to manage fragments of her identity that left her frustrated and bitter.

I definitely understand the feelings of resentment that can surface in the family caregiver role. It’s one of the reasons why I wrote The Reluctant Caregiver. I also shared my Gen X caregiver experience on the Rodger That podcast. People shouldn’t feel guilty about such negative feelings, but for their own emotional health and to be a better caregiver, it’s important to address these feelings, reach out for support and develop a caregiving plan that works better for you, much like Schauf did. The process can be painful and messy, much like caregiving itself. But as Schauf said, being present, not perfect, is the goal. Being present as a daughter is something I wish I had done more of, versus being worried about every aspect of my caregiver role.

This holiday season is a great time to assess your family caregiver situation and determine if changes need to be made.

Illustration created by ChatGPT.

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November 16, 2025 · 12:35 pm

Gratitude comes in many forms and sizes

I was attending an event this weekend where we were talking about grief and gratitude. It’s an appropriate topic for November as we quickly approach Thanksgiving where we are reminded to be grateful for our blessings.

But when one is going through difficult times or actively grieving, tapping into gratitude can feel impossible. A person at the event I attended suggested that the bigger and deeper the grief, aiming to engage in smaller moments of gratitude can feel more achievable and still have a significant impact. The last thing one should do is force themselves to be grateful, because authenticity is essential. The last thing someone who is grieving should do is feel guilty because they cannot muster feelings of gratitude.

What can be helpful is taking time to be present in the moment. Recognizing the complexity of the more negative emotions and understanding that grief’s depth mirrors the bond you had with what is gone. Those relationships that were complicated may trigger even a deeper mix of emotions. Honoring those feelings over time can slowly make space for other feelings to emerge, such as gratitude.

It can also help to focus on something outside of your current situation. I find nature to be one of the simplest and most satisfying ways to ground oneself in a moment of gratitude. Being of awe of the stars in the night sky, a gorgeous sunrise, the colors of the leaves in autumn — these simple moments of gratitude have helped chip away at the oppressive grief I have felt at times during the holiday season.

Hope these tips help if you are navigating grief this holiday season.

Illustration generated by Google Gemini.

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November 8, 2025 · 2:20 pm

How prepared are you for aging?

Courtesy of John Hancock’s Longevity Preparedness Index

As we enter the holiday season, where some will have more interaction with family members, it’s a good time to assess your family’s preparedness when it comes to aging well. Anthony Cirillo shared on The Aging Experience a “Longevity Preparedness Index” produced by John Hancock in collaboration with MIT’s AgeLab.

Courtesy of John Hancock

The Longevity Preparedness Index , surveyed over 1,300 Americans in 2025 to assess readiness across 8 top aging areas: social connection, finance, daily activities, care, home, community, health, and life transitions.

As Cirillo points out in his post, Americans didn’t fare well overall, scoring just 60 out of 100 for longevity preparedness. He offers actions people can take to increase their ability to age well, from growing social connections to having frank conversations about financial planning and life transitions.

The key theme is that the time to prepare is before one becomes older and before health issues need to be addressed. The one area in which Americans are least prepared is one of the most important when it comes to aging: care. Scoring just 42/100, the majority of those surveyed do not have a care plan and do not know who would take care of them if a health issue required assistance. Creating an advanced care directive is vital.

No one can predict the specific care needs you or your loved ones will require in the future, but considering these critical area of aging can help families be more prepared and make smart decisions that will offer them the best chance of aging well.

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