January 22, 2024 · 8:00 am

Can robots help those with dementia engage with past and present?

Social robots have been met with an understandable level of skepticism by elder care advocates. Can generative AI take such technology to the next level? A recent Wired article highlighted interesting developments in this field. Instead of focusing on robots substituting for human companionship or serving as a virtual caretaker, a group of researchers are developing robots “for the soul.”

One group that is being targeted for this technology designed to spark sensations and experiences are those with dementia, with technology meeting them where they are, whether that is surreal or relived memories. One example cited in the article is a robot playing birdsong that prompts an introverted woman with dementia to mimic a bird and speak about her love of birds. Another product that has been created is a pillow with panels that can be personalized to one’s life experience. When a panel is touched, a familiar sound is played. For example, if I was programming this for my father I would include a rendition of Danny Boy, my father’s favorite song. I might include the sounds of a ship, because my father loved ships.

Most of the article focuses on the development of QT, a chatty robot being tested at a memory care center. The technology has a ways to go, but one of the interesting developments is how the robot can spark conversations between residents and visitors. Encouraging such interactions can have a positive impact on all involved.

While I don’t envision a flood of robots caring for the elder population anytime soon, assistive technology is rapidly developing. Fall detection products are commonplace now, and proved to be an essential tool when caring for my mother. Smart, connected devices like the Amazon Echo Show and the Alexa Emergency Assist service keep busy caregivers connected to their elder loved ones, allowing them to monitor virtually. These products provide long-distance caregivers like I was with some peace of mind.

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January 15, 2024 · 8:00 am

Keeping your loved ones with dementia warm and safe during winter weather

The new year has started off with a blast of winter weather that is impacting a large portion of the U.S. The frigid temperatures are a sobering reminder to take special precautions if you are caring for someone with dementia.

Each year, cases are reported of those with dementia wandering away from home and dying from exposure during the winter. My dad was a dementia wanderer, so these tragic cases hit close to home for me. There are several things to keep in mind when caring for loved ones with dementia on top of normal winter weather safety tips.

Creative Carer had a Facebook post this past week that offered excellent tips on how she kept her mother warm and comfortable during the winter. Some tips to keep in mind:

  • Depending upon the stage of the disease, your loved one may not be able to accurately communicate if they are comfortable temperature-wise. It’s important to be hands-on and monitor for signs of discomfort.
  • As Creative Carer points out, pay special attention to the extremities during cold weather.
  • Think about smart layers. A fidget blanket could serve dual purposes, by occupying restless hands while keeping the body warm. Be cautious about bundling with too many layers of clothes, as it could make it difficult to use the restroom and restrict movement.
  • When severe winter weather limits outdoor activities, make plans to keep loved ones occupied indoors. Restlessness can lead to wandering attempts.
  • Don’t forget about bath time and take extra precautious to keep your loved one warm and comfortable.
  • Knowing your loved one’s preferences before they developed dementia can serve as a guide to maintaining comfort even once they become non-verbal. My father didn’t like things around his neck, as it made him feel like he was being strangled, so scarves would not have been a good choice for him. However, Dad liked wearing hats, so that would have been acceptable.

I hope you and your loved ones stay safe during this winter season.

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January 6, 2024 · 3:08 pm

New year, new opportunities for caregivers

Happy New Year! I hope you and your loved ones had a good holiday season. While we enter another year fraught with tension on many fronts, one way to harness anxiety is by focusing on positive actions you can take to make a difference.

Such actions can come in many forms. Maybe this is the year you finally join a caregiver support group. It’s an election year so perhaps you join forces with a group like Caring Across Generations and their campaign for paid leave for family caregivers. Have you thought about your end-of-life care wishes and do you know the wishes of your loved ones? Make it a priority this year to document these choices in a form that’s legal where you reside.

Perhaps you or a family member have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia and you are seeking trusted information. Consider an excellent community resource like AlzAuthors, where you can read books from dementia caregivers, medical professionals, and those who are living with dementia. That includes my award-winning book, The Reluctant Caregiver.

If you’d like to get involved in Alzheimer’s research, explore the Alzheimer’s Association TrialMatch. On that note, the Center for Information and Study on Clinical Research Participation (CISCRP) is seeking individuals age 65+ living in the U.S. diagnosed with mild Alzheimer’s and/or their caregivers to participate in a virtual interview project. Note that CISCRP is not recruiting volunteers for a clinical trial, but rather to learn from patients how to best create a clinical trial that addresses the unique needs of individuals with Alzheimer’s. For more information about the interview project, please contact research associate Madeline Heaney at mheaney@ciscrp.org or call 617-725-2750 ext. 416.

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December 24, 2023 · 9:00 am

Happy Holidays

Wishing you and your family a peaceful and restful holiday season. The cats managed to negotiate with Santa Claus and get a gift early. I would love to be a cat with my very own soft, cozy house for endless naps!

For those grieving this holiday season, I fully understand and send you supportive and healing energy.

If you need last-minute gifts, you can get the e-book version of my award-winning personal essay collection, The Reluctant Caregiver, for just 99 cents if you purchase through the Smashwords 2023 End of Year Sale. The deal is available through Jan. 1, 2024. For the kids, you can grab the digital version of my children’s book, Slow Dog, for $2.99 on Amazon Kindle.

If you are feeling a bit sad today, I hope this puts a smile on your face!

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December 20, 2023 · 11:27 am

Marking 12 years since Dad’s death

Today marks 12 years since my father died.

The years following his death have been tough, both on a personal and global level. I am grateful for having found such an amazing community of dementia caregivers and advocates who are tirelessly working to gain better resources and support. No one welcomes a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia, but my family’s experience has opened my eyes to challenges in our health care system that I otherwise would not have known about.

I began The Memories Project blog in honor of my father and will continue to advocate for better dementia care treatment and family caregiver support.

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December 18, 2023 · 8:00 am

Honoring departed loved ones during the holidays

On December 20, I will mark the 12th anniversary of my father’s death. Losing a loved one during the holiday season can usher in a mix of grief and nostalgia during subsequent holidays. There’s also a group of people who are marking their first holiday after the passing of their loved one.

Each person processes grief differently, and each person will have to decide what feels right when marking the holidays without their loved one. Over time, I’ve found the sharp pangs of recent loss wane some, replaced by a more generalized sadness.

Care Dimensions posted a helpful list of suggestions on how to remember a departed loved one during the holidays. I have found playing their favorite music or watching their favorite films can be a positive way to connect with those who have passed. I also like to light a candle and set aside dedicated time to recognize departed loved ones in the memorial areas I have both inside my home and in my garden.

You can read more about how I dealt with grief in my award-winning personal essay collection, The Reluctant Caregiver. You can get a digital copy for just 99 cents if you purchase through the Smashwords 2023 End of Year Sale.

Image by Chantelle Thompson from Pixabay.

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December 11, 2023 · 8:00 am

The gift of having difficult conversations

This holiday season, one of the best gifts you can give the caregivers in your life as well as those nearing the end of their lives is the space and attention to have difficult conversations.

This includes not only end-of-life conversations but challenging family situations that need to be addressed. Perhaps there’s a caregiver in your family or friend circles that could use more support. If we’ve learned anything over the last few years of tremendous loss of life from the pandemic, it’s that we may not have the time we think to work through difficult issues with our loved ones. Now is the time to be proactive.

I was reminded of this while watching the Peacock TV series, “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.” This isn’t normally the type of show I would watch but in episode 2, a woman with terminal cancer is featured. In fact, the woman was quite organized and she didn’t need that much help in downsizing. Beyond practical matters, she was dealing with challenges connecting with loved ones as she neared the end of her life. As one of the death cleaners proclaims, she needs “death cleaning of her soul,” which is an empowering concept that they help her fulfill.

Can you facilitate that process for yourself or someone dear in your life? What a meaningful holiday gift that would be.

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash.

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December 1, 2023 · 9:01 am

Wine, Women, and Dementia a candid and moving caregiver documentary

Recently I had the chance to see the documentary, “Wine, Women, and Dementia.” The film was made by Kitty Norton, who quit her job to care of her mother who had dementia. Norton documented the roller coaster ride of family caregiving with her sister, creating a popular blog, Stumped Town Dementia, and sharing videos of the sometimes hilarious, sometimes tragic moments involved in being a dementia caregiver.

Through her blog, Norton built an online community which offered each other support and advice as they experienced their own caregiving journeys. In the documentary, Norton travels across the country to visit these caregivers and learn more about them. The result is a brutally honest, moving and in certain moments, hilarious documentary.

The candid tone of the documentary aligns with my own experience and approach to caregiving, as I captured in my book, The Reluctant Caregiver and as I share here on The Memories Project. If you’ve seen the film and would like to check out my book, you can grab a free copy through December 15, 2023 via this Prolific Works giveaway.

By not shying away from the difficult moments, we better prepare caregivers for the future. I also appreciate the value of online communities that the film highlights. While the internet can seem overloaded with toxic behavior, if you look in the right places, you can find good people like those included in this film who have build a supportive caregiver community.

You can visit the Wine, Women, and Dementia website for details on upcoming screenings.

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November 23, 2023 · 8:00 am

Being grateful in difficult times

For those facing difficult family situations, the holiday season is often met with dread. As we get older, losses can mount and make the holidays a reminder of those who are no longer with us. I grapple with this each holiday season, as my father died five days before Christmas 2011. Every holiday season since then has been tinged with grief.

It can feel impossible to feel gratitude as a family caregiver who may feel hopeless and trapped in their situations. I often felt resentment when I came across those pushing messages of gratitude during the holiday season. Now that I’ve had the space of several years since caring for my parents, I feel that a gratitude practice can be a useful self-care tool but only if one is genuine and not trying to force the issue.

Gratitude doesn’t have to be a list overflowing with positivity. It can be a testament to what makes your life worth living.

I hope your holidays will come with good family moments. Those happy memories can provide immense comfort during tougher times.

If you are looking for more reading material this holiday season, I’m participating in a giveaway via Prolific Works. You can get a copy of my award-winning personal essay collection, The Reluctant Caregiver, for free through December 15, 2023.

Image by Deborah Hudson from Pixabay.

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November 20, 2023 · 8:00 am

Remembering Rosalynn Carter, dedicated caregiver advocate

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Former first lady Rosalynn Carter died Sunday at the age of 96.

Carter was well-known for her caregiver advocacy work. One of her most famous quotes sums up the universal importance of caregiving:

“There are only four kinds of people in the world—those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.”

Rosalynn Carter,
Former First Lady of the United States

Carter, much like her husband, former President Jimmy Carter, didn’t just deliver speeches or donate money to caregiving causes. The Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregivers was established in 1987. The Institute conducts important research on the impacts of caregiving and has launched programs like Working While Caring, which partners with employers to address the needs of their caregiver employees. The Institute also has programs dedicated to dementia and military caregivers.

The Carters were married for 77 years, a union that was a true and loving partnership.

For more on Carter’s long life dedicated to giving back to others, visit her tribute page.

The best way to honor her memory is to continue her mission, to create a society in which caregivers are supported and have the resources they need to thrive.

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